Here's a novelty - a Jackass film with an actual story.
Warning: The stunts in this movie were performed by professionals, so neither you nor your dumb buddies should attempt anything from this movie.
Those offended by crudity need not apply.
Like a seven day week, this Bovril is never going to change and why the hell should it?
Stunt details and/or spoilers will be fairly outrageous.
Johnny Knoxville is disgraceful pensioner Irving Zisman.
His wife has just died and unlike most, no tears are shed.
She will be joining us throughout the duration, (in the boot of his car).
You have to feel for his eight year old grandson Billy (Jackson Nicoll), because his drug addicted mother can’t keep out jail and his dad is a complete loser.
However, Irving agrees to deliver Billy to father Chuck and so begins a road trip where much chaos ensues.
In no particular order, this is what I remember and how things transpire.
Taking a piss in the vending machine, others believe he’s masturbating but in truth, he got the little man stuck and tugging only stretches...
When Billy can’t get a children’s ride to work, Grandpa parks his booty and vaults him through a store window.
Grandpa tries to post Billy stood upright in a crude cardboard box, much to the confusion of staff when Irving claims he’s a statue.
They ask something like “Can we post living things?”
Hungry and harassed, Irving helps himself to a meal and ensures Billy doesn't go without inside a petrol station. The shop assistants aren't too impressed...
On occasion, Billy is left to seek his own form of creativity such as trying to find a ‘new’ Dad and trying to find his Grandpa at an adult book store.
Her name is ‘not’ Cinnamon and she ‘does’ look like a stripper.
Grandpa attends a bingo hall but is interested in chasing tail, rather than shouting house. He begins by drinking fluid from a traditional dabber pen, chats up disinterested women and serves himself margaritas.
Now smashed, Billy pushes him in a shopping trolley and ends up at a fast food joint where he tries to order beer and whisky.
Horny and haggard, he finally secures entry to a strip joint but doesn't spot the advertisement outside of Ladies Night.
After failing to get ladies to stir his soup, he attempts to distract by performing his own dance of seduction but unfortunately, his ball sack is trailing and could be used as a skipping rope.
In a diner, the two pals have a farting competition but when Grandpa tries too hard, he follows through and explodes his mess on a wall.
He smashes into a giant fake penguin with his car and when challenged, a guy gets really angry at his complete reluctance to repair the problem.
Now we are now completely on track.
They eventually arrive at a biker bar where members of Guardian of the Children populate, which is an organisation that helps abused children.
Leaving Billy with Chuck, he exits feeling genuinely upset.
Chuck openly displays his skill at parenting by throwing unpleasant insults, not allowing him to eat and making snide remarks about Billy’s weight.
Meanwhile, Irving reminisces in flashback about the good times had with the kid so he decides to go back for him.
With some resistance from Chuck and help from Guardians, he’s back with Grandpa.
After all, Chuck just sees Billy as an opportunity to make money through child support which makes him a complete and utter asshole.
They end up crashing a child beauty pageant and prior to entering, Billy is disguised as a girl. He eventually removes his sailor outfit to reveal a kinky number with stockings and leather. A dirty dance follows to the tune of Jani Lane’s Cherry Pie.
Irving adds the gloss by showering Billy with dollar bills.
The game’s up when his wig falls off and it’s time to haul ass.
Grandpa agrees to fulfil Billy’s wish by going fishing but before casting out, he and Billy throw his wife off a bridge.
Hours later, she has floated to shore.
As the credits roll, fun and frolics are had in regards to stunts, extras, the walking corpse and seeing Knoxville before and after as Grandpa.
It has to be said that the make-up and mask is very convincing, unlike Guy Pearce in Prometheus.
Combining a mild serving of actors and pranking a banquet unsuspecting innocents, this hits the sweet spot.
The reaction given by those who have no clue as to what the hell is going on make this all the more entertaining and a look of shock, horror and genuine disgust is commonplace.
Okay, some sequences forget the importance of merriment but largely, you’ll struggle to keep that face of yours straight.
In memory of Ryan Dunn
1977 – 2011