Friday, 26 February 2016

Grimsby - The scoop and digest

Many first saw Sacha Baron Cohen in Da Ali G Show, but like many other fellow professionals, Channel 4 comedy series The 11 o'clock Show launched the voice of yoof's career.

West Staines Massif's character came to the big screen, with Borat and Brüno following suit.

Following political satire The Dictator, will latest persona offend for all the wrong reasons?

Sacha Baron Cohen - Nobby
Mark Strong - Sebastian Graves
Rebel Wilson - Dawn
Scott Adkins - Lukashenko
Penélope Cruz - Rhonda George
Isla Fisher - Margaret

It goes something like this...

Beer swilling, chain-smoking, football fanatic Nobby learns his missing brother of 28 years Sebastian has been spotted in London.

At a charity event held at the Old Royal Naval College, Nobby fucks everything up by giving MI 6 secret agent a hug, just when he's about to blow away an assassin.

In South Africa, Sebastian accidentally injects heroin and Nobby is enlisted by mission control to seduce and extract information from beautiful blonde.

With that outrageous barnet, he makes a convincing Liam Gallagher lookalike.

"All I need are cigarettes and alcohol."

Of course things don't go to plan when guys turn up, but knight in sibling armour conveniently saves the day.

Will England triumph against Germany in Chile?

Let's find out.

When launched, fireworks containing lethal virus will be released into the atmosphere and like the Sugababes, megalomaniac Rhonda George is primed to Push the Button (and let me know).

Said song is also an unrelated album by The Chemical Brothers.

Anyway, we don't suffer heartbreak as Nobby ensures England win 2-1 in normal time (and shoots the referee before he can disallow goal).

Wait a minute, Three Lions weren't scheduled to lift the Jules Rimet cup until 200016.

198000 years early? Well shit.

Chaos ensues during Northern pitch invasion and Butcher brothers save the day by parking asses on necessary rockets.

News headline confirms Rhonda's arrest and family visit recuperating heroes in hospital.

Almost immediately after 'The End', Nobby (now a spy), kills his team on a boat before Seb can introduce.

In a post-credits scene, Nobby shoots randomer dead for the crime of providing directions to a stadium.

Yeah, a waste of everybody's time.

Before scurrying to analysis, why so much controversy?

Oh yeah, representing fishing town as the Chatsworth estate.

Does it matter if all scenes were actually filmed in Tilbury?

Honestly, I despair and please get over it.

Providing gross-out humour floats your boat, Louis Leterrier's film is intermittently hilarious.

Cohen's idiot and Strong's spy make a pleasantly mismatched double act, but cameos from the likes of Johnny Vegas (Milky Pits), Ian McShane, Ricky Tomlinson (Paedo Pete) and John Thomson are gratuitously underused.

However, God bless Rebel Wilson.

Spreading legs like Sharon 'Stallone', she describes lady garden as an 'all you can eat' buffet.

If you haven't already, How To Be Single comes heartily recommended.

During charity event, some kid has AIDS.  Nobby reacts to such news by shouting 'fantastic', but is really referring to a football score.

In the process, Harry Potter lookalike contracts HIV.

When applied correctly, bad taste gags can work.

Carry On innuendo aside, vile set pieces push boundaries even the Farrelly Brothers wouldn't cross.

Taking refuge inside elephant's vagina, horny male's huge dick causes climatic explosion on 'Vin Diesel's' face.

Don't be so dramatic, it's just pre-cum.

What tickled my tummy was Nobby literally sucking the poison from Seb's scrotum.

In different circumstances, balls on face is recycled from Borat.

Stupid, crude and horrendous - enjoy a guilty blast.

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