Sunday, 14 February 2016

Deadpool - The scoop and digest

While video game lacked originality, roaming beat 'em up simply oozed anti-hero's personality.

Spice up those chimichangas and enjoy a slice of pizza as irresponsibility comes to the big screen.

Ryan Reynolds - Deadpool/Wade Wilson
Michael Benyaer - Francis/Ajax
T.J. Miller - Weasel
Stefan Capicic - Colossus (voice)
Brianna Hildebrand - Negasonic Teenage Warhead
Morena Baccarin - Vanessa
Gina Carano - Angel Dust

After terrific opening sequence where many lie dead at the hands of Deadpool's firepower and pointy sticks, we have to go back two years to learn how ass squeezed into red spandex.

Run by bartender and friend Weasel, mercenary Wade Wilson visits Sister Margaret's and meets love interest Vanessa.

Sometime later, Wade suddenly collapses and diagnosed with cancer.

He reluctantly undergoes treatment, but first must endure tortuous methods administered by Angel Dust until mutation kicks in.

As a consequence of cure, face is heavily disfigured.

Taking refuge at blind woman's house Al, he becomes blank eyed masked vigilante.

In the midst of bloodshed, Deadpool collars Francis and demands he spills how to make face pretty again.

Already dispatched by Wolverine from X-Mansion, the fiery Negasonic Teenage Warhead and Colossus intervene which allows Francis to leg it.

Chrome balls handcuffs Deadpool and drags him away.

Ever seen 127 Hours?

Spoiler alert.

Weasel convinces Wade to swallow deformed pride and visit Vanessa.

Believing hooded figure to be Wade, Vanessa is kidnapped by Francis and Angel Dust.

For letting Francis go, Negasonic and Colossus agree to help Deadpool and arrive at decommissioned S.H.I.E.L.D. helicarrier.

Deadpool makes short work of henchmen while Colossus and Negasonic lock horns with Angel Dust, who executes 'superhero landing'.

With a rack like hers, I wouldn't mind having a squeeze...

Francis and Deadpool unleash pent-up aggression and baddie's goose is eventually cooked with a bullet to the head.

Angel Dust is knocked sparko during explosion and rescued by Colossus.

Negasonic and Colossus accept Deadpool's unwillingness to join X-men and our man enjoys a cheeky tongue wrestle with Vanessa.

Staying after part animated credit roll sees Deadpool in dressing gown superbly parodying Ferris Bueller and teases Cable may feature in probable sequel.

Casting? Maybe Dolph Lundgren, Mel Gibson or even Keira Knightley?

The Punisher, Blade and Daredevil all saw Marvel get adult, but Tim Miller's feature debut smashes all concerned.

Ryan Reynolds has done some pretty shite films, but all is forgiven.

It's always fun to hear thespian taking the piss out of his/her cinematic bombs and references made to The Green Lantern (super suit green or animated) and something about X-Men Origins: Wolverine are super cute.

Blade II is also mentioned, but Reynolds only starred in Trinity.


Potty-mouthed script is crammed with quick-fire vulgarities and not since Ted 2 have I laughed so hard.

The principle of Kick-Ass lingers, but Deadpool existed way before swimsuit in comic book land.

Andre Tricoteux provides faultless motion capture, T.J. Miller delivers rampant sarcasm and Hildebrand takes every amusing insult from Deadpool on the chin.

Compliments include Ripley from Alien 3 and Sinéad O'Connor (Nothing Compares 2 U).

Of course she and iconic music video made it famous, not Prince's funk group The Family...

As for Deadpool's musical taste, he's a huge fan of Wham! and Careless Whisper.

Mr. Sandman has long since been associated with Halloween.  Not anymore...

Oh, apart from tits, watch out for Stan Lee's cameo as strip joint's DJ.

Some films should be skipped like television channels.

Avoid this at your peril.

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