Friday, 3 November 2017

Jigsaw - The scoop and digest

Title can be one of several different films, including a terrible straight-to-video horror.

For you Marvel fans out there, it's also an enemy of Frank Castle, aka The Punisher.

Seven years after what was apparently The Final Chapter, the Spiereg Brothers invite us to play another game.

Can X mark the sweet spot?

Matt Passmore - Logan Nelson
Callum Keith Rennie - Detective Halloran
Paul Braunstein - Ryan
Laura Vandervoort - Anna
Clé Bennett - Detective Hunt
Tobin Bell - John Kramer/Jigsaw
Hannah Emily Anderson - Eleanor

Wanted criminal Edgar Munsen is shot by police for pulling the trigger on remote mechanism.

Five bucket-headed victims are forced towards a wall of buzzsaws.  They each spill blood in order to survive, except for one, who's apparently cut to ribbons.

In farmhouse's next room, Billy trundles in on upgraded tricycle with a tape deck and 'confess' pinned to him.

Message reveals petty thief Carly caused the death of an innocent after snatching her purse, so she is tasked to inject one of three syringes to save them from being hung like washing on a certain line.

Ryan decides to stab her with all three, but sadly acid doesn't agree with Carly's face.

Meanwhile, a badly mutilated body is examined by forensic pathologists Logan (war veteran) and Eleanor (Jigsaw enthusiast).

They uncover a computer chip and audio file matches voice of John Kramer.

Impossible.  He's been dead for 10 years.

(Gasps in disbelief).

Munsen is kidnapped and killed off-screen, with his body found inside Kramer's coffin.

Back at the barn, Ryan is immobilized for attempting to cheat while Anna and Mitch get trapped inside a grain silo.

At the expense of severed leg, Ryan pulls lever and frees them.

We're told Mitch effectively killed Jigsaw's nephew by selling him a motorbike with dodgy brakes.

Spiral blade is powered by the same vehicle that killed family member and unable to reach now working brake, Mitch is shredded into burger meat.

Learning of Eleanor's Jigsaw museum, Halloran orders their arrest.

After Anna is drugged, she and Ryan wake up restrained in the company of John Kramer.

Evil bitch suffocated her baby in a fit of rage and let hubby take the blame, who subsequently committed suicide.

John leaves shotgun loaded with one shell saying they've got message 'backwards' and bullet holds the 'key' to their freedom.

Instead of thinking outside the box, Anna attempts to blow Ryan away, but instead - rigged firearm kills her.

Upon discovering object hidden inside bullet casing was destroyed by deceased pulling the trigger, Ryan is left to die.

Halloran pursues Logan and Eleanor and while she escapes, the former is drugged and passes out.

Both awake to collars lined with laser cutters and voice says in order to survive, sins must be blurted out.

Logan admits to accidentally mislabeling Kramer's X-rays, so cancer went unnoticed.  Despite confession, lasers appear to kill him.

Halloran then admits to letting murderers, rapists and other baddies walk free for personal gain.

Drum roll...

Logan suddenly rises and reveals events in barn happened 10 years ago.

No, really?

As he was unconscious during opening trap, John decided Logan didn't deserve to die for making a genuine mistake and saved him off-screen.

For the benefit of those who took a lengthy toilet break or just fell asleep, trademark flashback sequence leaves no stone unturned.

'Speaking for the dead', Logan reactivates Halloran's collar and before door slams shut, lasers open head up like a blooming flower.

Like Saw V, there is no 'game over'.

Dull and duller

One of the victims carries Aujeszky's disease.

Ignoring recurring symbolism, it's ironic that this is one pig of a film.

Hollywood brings dead franchises back for one reason.

Money.

Formulaic and scarcely entertaining, it's as though directing duo (known for Predestination and Daybreakers), didn't have the balls to try something new.

Even with a few innovative traps, entire thing is so incredibly predictable.

It's better than Saw IV and V, but that's not really saying much.

Performances are made from wood and when not losing limbs and/or dying, wafer-thin characters just swear and shout at each other.

We don't have to guess who the killer is, because by the numbers script makes it so goddamn obvious.

Eleanor's museum displays trap replicas of futuristic entries, giving away twist before it actually happens.

How fucking stupid.

Examples include Angel (Saw III), Box (Saw II), and iconic Reverse Bear Trap (Saw).

Instead of copping out with flashback bullshit, Jigsaw should've been resurrected via ceremonial blood ritual.

Oh well.

Dr. Gordon leaving Hoffman for dead at the end of TFC is not acknowledged (perhaps on purpose), so a showdown is surely in the offing.

Now that would be funny.

Continuity

As already established, trap fest took place 10 years prior to Jigsaw's demise.

Fine.  But Saw III was released in 2006.

Eleanor states trap used on Mitch is said to be one of Jigsaw's first, strongly suggesting the past is before the first film.

So apart from creating another timeline issue, they suddenly remembered Jigsaw had another apprentice?

Bollocks.

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