Sunday 12 May 2019

Jaws - Great White Goofs

For all its superlatives, Spielberg's blockbuster is littered with a gargantuan amount of bullshit.

With that said, I've cherry picked the most interesting ones.

Chrissie's remains are found the following morning.
However.

Brody's report states she died on 1 July 1974 at 11:50PM.
Fine. But more importantly, deceased was discovered on 2 July at 10:20 PM.

WHAT?
Also, why is there no space after 11:50?
Shit was removed to (Address) Corners Office.
Not Coroner's Office?
Damn. Punctuation also took a back seat.
Down on Amity beach...

Ahead of Brucie feasting on Alex Kintner, Brody keeps a careful eye on proceedings.
Please note wristwatch
In the next shot.

Timepiece has vanished.
Maybe Chief was robbed.

Reward notice states Alex was killed before Chrissie on June 29.
I find that remarkable, because she was eaten on 1 July.
Upon meeting Brody, Hooper even states the best thing for him to do is to see the remains of the first victim 'the girl on the beach'.
To compound matters further, June 29 in 1974 fell on a Saturday, not Sunday.
Shortly after, all and sundry have a board meeting.

Blackboard is clean.
While everybody's bickering.

Quint magically appears ninja-like and shark now occupies blackboard.
Given situation in real-time.

IMPOSSIBLE!

Licence plate retrieved from tiger shark displays sportmen's paradise.
Spelling should be sportman's paradise
When estuary victim is forced into taking a dip, dude is barefoot.
But when leg sinks, it's wearing a shoe.
Continuity really kicks off at sea.

When taking aim, Quint's harpoon is at shoulder height.
But in the next shot, weapon is on hip.
For this next slice, it's necessary to turn back time.

Orca stored five barrels.
Some time later, Quint sticks third into Bruce.
5 minus 3 leaves 2, right?

Of course it does.

But in this long shot, there's three left.
Same thing here.
But...

We're back with two, which is obviously correct.
WTF?

More harpoon hi-jinks.

Shoulder height (again).
And yeah.

Yep, a second later, it's on hip (again).
Resultant projectile finds lower jaw.
Stands to reason it would stay remain there.

But when attacking Hooper's cage, it's gone.
What is this sorcery?

Is that a tow cable attached to dorsal fin?
Yes.
Also, where have barrels gone?

As Bruce prepares to devour Quint, he's not wearing a bandanna
Now he is.
Whilst been thrashed about, head accessory is lost.
But.

In subsequent close-up, he's managed to put it back on.
What a man.

While Brody is stabbing monster's head with spear thing, solid steel amusingly bends.
Weapon is jammed inside mouth.
Guess what?

(Gasps).
Yep, it's disappeared.
Okay, I get baddie is exaggerated to be pretty much invincible, but giving it the ability to make shit vanish off-screen is beyond hilarious.

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