Sunday, 1 January 2017

Final Fight - A Question of Ports

Happy New Year!

Quality of each translation will be analysed, along with something else.

Rest assured, you won't miss a bra or red dress.

8 bits, Amiga and Atari ST were handled by Creative Materials (for US Gold) in 1991.

One way or another (Blondie ref welcome), Capcom did the rest.

Spectrum (128K only)

Host system didn’t stand a chance of replicating arcade, but considering what Electric Dreams managed with R-Type, anything is possible.

However, this was an offensive, lethargic, jerky mound of shit, and further magnified when anything other than player shares screen time.

For some strange reason, ‘Andore’ replaces Abigail as Bay Area boss.

Poison couldn’t make it, but I suppose Roxy is recognisable.

What does deserve a rapturous round of applause is Cody, Guy and Haggar all made the character roster and violence can be dished out simultaneously.

Although we struggle through all six stages, they’re extremely cut down (as are enemies).

We can throw Mad Gear, destroy objects, break car and smash glass.

In order to achieve mammoth sprites, coder Alan Butcher reduced already strangled palette.

I assume Tiertex Design Studios used the same trick for Street Fighter II?

Gameplay may be the equivalent of toothache, but content is a minor miracle.


Damnd and Sodom, but Belger trundles about in office furniture and Jessica couldn't make intro.

Amstrad CPC

Same principle, but smaller sprites and garish colour scheme made things unpleasant.


Same as Speccy


Intro is genuinely great, but then you hit the fire button.

Talk about lulling us into a false sense of fucking security.

Minuscule sprites look like they’ve been drawn by a less than stable 2 year old.

Cryptically, Poison stands in for Roxy.

Destructible objects are a mere memory and enemies needn’t worry about being thrown.

Atrocious collision detection makes things unnecessarily difficult and taking a blowtorch to my dick would be more enjoyable.

Positives (and negatives) from Speccy and Amstrad are retained.


Jessica is stripped down to bra for intro, Damnd and Sodom, we enter Bar but Belger trundles about in office furniture.

Amiga 500

Double the bits, triple the shit.

This was beautifully massacred.

Holly Wood, El Gado and Roxy are gone and Industrial Area omits elevator section; so no Rolento.

Removal of animation sequences mean bosses just awkwardly appear, which particularly affects Damnd, who can no longer smash through door.

Abigail features as a regular enemy (WTF?) and also as Bay Area boss (which is of course correct).

On every occasion, he's called Andore Jr.


Oh, Belger is just ‘boss’ and disappears when beaten.

Expect pros and cons from all 8 bits (including 2P), but like C64 - we can't throw thugs, nor destroy objects.

If conversion played like a dream, I'd probably forgive the following:

Shoddy backgrounds, limited animation, each character having just a basic punch and flying kick attack, putrid colour scheme, no in-game music and squashed display.

Guess what?

It's a jerky, floaty, glitch-ridden, FUCKING AWFUL MESS!

Enemy intelligence is wondrously dumb and large sprites definitely do not compensate

Did coder Richard Aplin even grasp why so much cash was shovelled into arcade's coin slot?

On this evidence...


Mostly great.

Jessica’s bra, Poison uncut, ‘sexy’ graffiti on Bay Area’s toilet doors, West Side Bar and Belger’s wheelchair.

However, there’s no blood, Oh! My God or alcohol.

Atari ST

Even worse.

Is that even possible?

Apparently so.


As per Amiga.

Super Famicom (1990), SNES North America (1991) and PAL (1992)

What’s wrong with this picture?


Well I’m watching the intro and note absence of Industrial Area.

Shit man, you’re right.

(Pushes start).

Cody, Haggar and... where the FUCK is Guy?


Considering 8 bits had all characters and stages, it remains one of gaming’s biggest mysteries and/or embarrassments.

Port itself plays solid, but 8 meg cart was massively compromised.

1P only, no stage transition sequences between areas, backgrounds lack detail, basic animation, music is pretty average and to accommodate a maximum of three enemies at any one time, stoppages occur far more frequently, making stages seem longer than what they actually are.

Unlike Amiga and ST, at least bosses are properly introduced and we get West Side Andore death match.

Censorship (North America and PAL)

Where to begin?

Forget about Mortal Kombat and SF II, this is the most butchered, sanitized video game of all time.


Jessica appears in red dress and not Japanese arcade’s bra.

Don't forget, said babe was removed from otherwise identical 'world' equivalent.

‘You son of a…’ is changed to ‘You fiend’.
‘Nothing yet… but we’d enjoy the opportunity’ becomes ‘Nothing yet… but we will if you don’t cooperate’.


Roxy and Poison are replaced with redrawn, but same principle male punks Billy and Sid.

Considering Nintendo allowed Technos to have women in both Double Dragon and 1990 sequel The Revenge on NES, this makes no fucking sense.

Damnd and Sodom were perversely changed to Thrasher and Katana respectively.

I can only think each could be confused with the mild curses of Damned and Sod ’em.

Whoah! How ridiculous does that sound?

Health ups are tee-total and blood no longer spurts.

After successful breaking of motor, geezer sobs Oh! My Car instead of Oh! My God!

We enter Club, not Bar and ‘sexy’ graffiti on Bay Area toilet doors is replaced with ‘Kiss’.

El Gado’s skin colour is lightened, statues in final stage have modesty covered up and Belger’s transport is luxury chair.

The final rusty nail in a very prudish coffin is continue screen displaying TNT.

Is stabilized form of nitroglycerine (dynamite) more offensive than chemical compound trinitrotoluene (or TNT in old money)?


Super Famicom

Alcohol references, red blood, statues display boobs, Bar, wheelchair, Roxy and Poison uncensored, Damnd, Sodom and Oh! My God!


Toilet door graffiti is still sealed with a Kiss and Jessica wears red dress.

Excuse me – WHAT?

Final Fight Guy, 1992 (Super Famicom)

To erase previous omission, an alternative scrap was released and unsubtle title speaks for itself.

It did make a limited appearance on North American Blockbuster shelves in 1994.

So hip hip hooray, we now have full character line-up.

Err, no we bastard don’t, because Guy replaces Cody.


Intro's modified dialogue explains Cody stayed in Japan to train with Guy’s sensei and student returned home early.

Just so we're clear, Industrial Area is still missing.

Overall, more pointless than a broken pencil.


Super Famicom and North America

As per regular versions.

X68000, 1992

Apart from a slight dip in resolution and less on-screen activity, this was the CPS-1 bee’s knees.

In-game tunes differed from insert coin and box housed CD brimming with unique remixes.



Sega CD (North America) and Mega CD (PAL), 1993

Called Final Fight CD in all territories, this basically boasts everything SNES didn’t.

In short, Guy, Roxy, Poison, animation sequences and Industrial Area all made it.

Extended and occasionally animated intro contained cringing voice acting.

Even with new backgrounds per character, Time Attack mode is redundant, but some may disagree?

Biffs, groans and moans are arcade perfect and remixed themes are generally great.

Attack speed is slower and palette forces graphics to be washed out.


Lady in red, statue’s boobs covered up, Club, Thrasher and Katana, no blood or booze health ups, Belger’s office chair and Oh! My Car!

Roxy and Poison wear ‘longer’ shorts and object hanging looks less like handcuffs.

Toilet doors are no longer sexy, or given a kiss.  Instead, we have ‘Ged Us’ and ‘Get U’.

Why? Who knows?

Mega CD (Japanese), 1993

Voice acting is automatically better and I assume it to be the same spiel.

Just to confuse, that Damnd maniacal laugh is now fully animated.

Profiles are set against a crude brick wall with just height, weight and age (no DOB).

Nicely, what can’t be ‘read’ for character introductions are heard and final improvement is ‘Final Fight’ spoken on title screen.

Why did they make intro sound and look more aesthetically pleasing for Japan?

Ending contains extra scene, as before Guy and Cody walk away during credit roll, a new conversation takes place near window.

For anybody who cares, translation goes like this:

Cody: I guess we should be heading out.
Guy: Okay, but are you sure?
Cody: Yeah, that’s the best thing for Jessica and me.

Even the traditional ending text was practically rewritten.

Oh you wanna know?

North America/PAL

Jessica: Where are you going? How can you just walk away now?
Cody: I wanna stay here with you Jessica but I can’t, not while evil still stalks the street.
Jessica: Oh Cody.


Jessica: Why are you going?
Cody: I’m a man who can’t live a normal life.  If you can accept that then come with me! We’ll live like no-one else can, Jessica!
Jessica: Cody.

Curiously, light above Bar sign doesn’t cycle through different colours and audience watching Edi. E scrap are frozen in time.

But light above Club sign does cycle through different colours and some of corpulent copper's crowd moves in North American/PAL version.

The mind boggles.



Sexy is plastered on multiple toilet doors, but as a sick joke, ‘Ged Us’ appears on a single door.

Mighty Final Fight, NES/Famicom 1993

Released after SNES exclusive Final Fight 2, comedic spin-off tinkers with arcade's plot.

Belger falls in love with Jessica and kidnaps her.

It’s kinda like a less creepy retelling of Willem Dafoe’s obsession with Ellie in Streets of Fire, who candidly admits pretty girls 'excite' him.

Chibi sprites have personality and classic thugs possess minor new moves.

Bosses are what you remember and lazily become palette swaps.

Wading through each of its five stages (Slum, Riverside, Bay Area, Old Town and Factory) is snore fucking snore, and Double Dragon style chasms don’t need a second invitation to arrange cheap deaths.

Still, gaining experience points needed for new moves freshens boredom up.

Cyborg Belger smacks of Kano and fires off arm rockets.

Along with NES versions of Strider and Bionic Commando, this can be located on 2006 GBA compilation Capcom Classics Mini-Mix.


NES (North America and PAL)

The usual shit of Thrasher and what we know to be Katana (and ‘siblings’).

Get this though.

We actually thwack women.

(Shakes head).


Nothing to say.

Final Fight One, Game Boy Advance 2001 (North America/PAL/Japan)

Developed by Capcom Production Studio 3 (who would be responsible for Resident Evil: Dead Aim on PS2), and brought in same year as Super SF II Turbo Revival, this rights SNES wrongs.

Are we really that bothered?

Renowned SNK artist Shinkiro provided box art and just for fun, Falcoon is another famous Neo Geo artist.

The first thing that bothers me is stupid title.

Would it be too much fucking hassle to call it Final Fight Advance?


Sprites, animation and backgrounds are lifted from SNES, but action is more intense and music isn't horrifically compressed.

Kill enough baddies and Street Fighter Alpha 3 Cody and Guy sprites (with alternate palettes) become playable.

Once again, do we give a shit?

Player and bosses trade cheesy insults via non spoken dialogue.

Rolento, Sodom, Cody and Guy’s portraits are recycled from Alpha 3, and those done specifically for update (like ‘original’ Cody, Guy and Haggar) are fucking atrocious.

Okay, the rest are decent enough.


PAL/North America

More strange decisions.

We fight Damnd and Sodom, statues have tits out, but hold the fucking front page, because Billy and Sid return.



Same as any Super Fammy version

Final Fight Double Impact, PSN/Xbox Live 2010

We get arcade perfect world version and... Magic Sword.

How the fuck did developer Proper Games (great name) settle on that?

Online drop-in multiplayer is obligatory, but what other carrots were dangled to warrant forking out either £7.99 on PSN, or about £7 on Xbox?

Remixed music is audible marmite and arcade’s old-school cabinet marquee surrounding CRT monitor can be favoured over full screen action.

Completing challenges reaps the reward of gaining trophies and/or achievements.

For example, Haggar-ed forces ass to tackle entire game solely with…

Same thing extends to Who's that Guy and Cody-pendant.

Other chores include:

Completing stages without losing a certain amount of lives;
Completing stages without using a certain amount of continues; and
Completing stages under a certain time limit.

Etc etc etc etc etc.

Success unlocks goodies ranging from move storyboards, concept art and pages from, er, the Street Fighter II Turbo comic.

Considering primary core can be found on Capcom Classics Collection Volume 1 (PS2/Xbox) or Capcom Classics Collection Remixed (PSP), this is so not worth the cash.

Ultracade's badly emulated and frankly horrible version can be unlocked in Final Fight: Streetwise, but only people on Glow will know that.

In 2012, this formed part of 360 arcade compilation Capcom Digital Collection.

The brawling (and even censorship) is far from over, and you guys may get to read all about it.

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