Happy New Year!
Quality of each translation will be analysed, along with something else.
Rest assured, you won't miss a bra or red dress.
8 bits, Amiga and Atari ST were handled by Creative Materials (for US Gold) in 1991.
One way or another (Blondie ref welcome), Capcom did the rest.
On every occasion, he's called Andore Jr.
HA HA HA!
Unlike Amiga and ST, at least bosses are properly introduced and we get West Side Andore death match.
The mind boggles.
Censorship
Renowned SNK artist Shinkiro provided box art and just for fun, Falcoon is another famous Neo Geo artist.
Once again, do we give a shit?
Quality of each translation will be analysed, along with something else.
Rest assured, you won't miss a bra or red dress.
8 bits, Amiga and Atari ST were handled by Creative Materials (for US Gold) in 1991.
One way or another (Blondie ref welcome), Capcom did the rest.
Spectrum (128K only)
Host system didn’t stand a
chance of replicating arcade, but considering what Electric Dreams managed with R-Type, anything is possible.
However, this was an offensive,
lethargic, jerky mound of shit, and further magnified when anything
other than player shares screen time.
For some strange reason, ‘Andore’
replaces Abigail as Bay Area boss.
Poison couldn’t make it, but I suppose Roxy is recognisable.
Poison couldn’t make it, but I suppose Roxy is recognisable.
What does deserve a rapturous
round of applause is Cody, Guy and Haggar all made the character roster and
violence can be dished out simultaneously.
Although we struggle through
all six stages, they’re extremely cut down (as are enemies).
We can throw Mad Gear, destroy objects, break car and smash glass.
In order to achieve mammoth sprites, coder Alan Butcher reduced already strangled palette.
I assume Tiertex Design
Studios used the same trick for Street Fighter II?
Gameplay may be the equivalent of toothache, but content is a minor miracle.
Censorship
Damnd and Sodom, but Belger trundles about in
office furniture and Jessica couldn't make intro.
Amstrad CPC
Same principle, but smaller
sprites and garish colour scheme made things unpleasant.
Censorship
Same as Speccy
C64
Intro is genuinely great, but
then you hit the fire button.
Talk about lulling us into a
false sense of fucking security.
Minuscule sprites look like they’ve been drawn by a less than stable 2
year old.
Cryptically, Poison stands in for Roxy.
Cryptically, Poison stands in for Roxy.
Destructible
objects are a mere memory and enemies needn’t worry about being thrown.
Atrocious collision detection
makes things unnecessarily difficult and taking a blowtorch to my dick would be more
enjoyable.
Positives (and negatives)
from Speccy and Amstrad are retained.
Censorship
Jessica is stripped down to
bra for intro, Damnd and Sodom, we enter Bar but Belger trundles about in
office furniture.
Amiga 500
Double the bits, triple the shit.
This was beautifully massacred.
Holly Wood, El Gado and Roxy are gone and Industrial Area omits elevator section; so no Rolento.
This was beautifully massacred.
Holly Wood, El Gado and Roxy are gone and Industrial Area omits elevator section; so no Rolento.
Removal of animation sequences mean bosses just awkwardly appear, which particularly affects Damnd, who can no longer smash through door.
Abigail features as a regular enemy (WTF?) and also as Bay Area boss (which is of course correct).
Abigail features as a regular enemy (WTF?) and also as Bay Area boss (which is of course correct).
On every occasion, he's called Andore Jr.
HA HA HA!
Oh, Belger is just ‘boss’ and disappears when beaten.
Expect pros and cons from all 8 bits (including 2P), but like C64 - we can't throw thugs, nor destroy objects.
If conversion played like a dream, I'd probably forgive the following:
Shoddy backgrounds, limited animation, each character having just a basic punch and flying kick attack, putrid colour scheme, no in-game music and squashed display.
Expect pros and cons from all 8 bits (including 2P), but like C64 - we can't throw thugs, nor destroy objects.
If conversion played like a dream, I'd probably forgive the following:
Shoddy backgrounds, limited animation, each character having just a basic punch and flying kick attack, putrid colour scheme, no in-game music and squashed display.
Guess what?
It's a jerky, floaty, glitch-ridden, FUCKING AWFUL MESS!
Enemy intelligence is wondrously dumb and
large sprites definitely do not compensate
Did coder Richard Aplin even grasp why so much cash was shovelled into arcade's coin slot?
On this evidence...
On this evidence...
Censorship
Mostly great.
Jessica’s bra, Poison uncut, ‘sexy’ graffiti on Bay Area’s toilet doors, West Side Bar and Belger’s wheelchair.
Jessica’s bra, Poison uncut, ‘sexy’ graffiti on Bay Area’s toilet doors, West Side Bar and Belger’s wheelchair.
However, there’s no blood, Oh! My God or alcohol.
Atari ST
Even
worse.
Is that even possible?
Apparently so.
Censorship
As per Amiga.
Super Famicom (1990), SNES North America (1991) and PAL
(1992)
What’s wrong with this
picture?
Sorry?
Well I’m watching the intro
and note absence of Industrial Area.
Shit man, you’re right.
(Pushes start).
Cody, Haggar and... where the FUCK is Guy?
Exactly!
Considering 8 bits had all
characters and stages, it remains one of gaming’s biggest mysteries and/or
embarrassments.
Port itself plays solid, but 8 meg cart was massively compromised.
1P only, no stage transition sequences between areas, backgrounds lack detail, basic animation, music is pretty average and to accommodate a maximum of three enemies at any one time, stoppages occur far more frequently, making stages seem longer than what they actually are.
Port itself plays solid, but 8 meg cart was massively compromised.
1P only, no stage transition sequences between areas, backgrounds lack detail, basic animation, music is pretty average and to accommodate a maximum of three enemies at any one time, stoppages occur far more frequently, making stages seem longer than what they actually are.
Unlike Amiga and ST, at least bosses are properly introduced and we get West Side Andore death match.
Censorship (North America and PAL)
Where to begin?
Forget about Mortal Kombat and SF II, this is the most butchered, sanitized video game of all
time.
Intro
Jessica appears in red dress
and not Japanese arcade’s bra.
Don't forget, said babe was removed from otherwise identical 'world' equivalent.
‘You son of a…’ is changed to
‘You fiend’.
‘Nothing yet… but we’d enjoy
the opportunity’ becomes ‘Nothing yet…
but we will if you don’t cooperate’.
Miscellany
Roxy and Poison are replaced
with redrawn, but same principle male punks Billy and Sid.
Considering Nintendo allowed Technos
to have women in both Double Dragon and 1990 sequel The Revenge on NES, this
makes no fucking sense.
Damnd and Sodom were perversely changed to Thrasher and Katana respectively.
I can only think each could
be confused with the mild curses of Damned and Sod ’em.
Whoah! How ridiculous does
that sound?
Health ups are tee-total and blood no longer spurts.
After successful breaking of motor, geezer sobs Oh! My Car instead of Oh! My God!
After successful breaking of motor, geezer sobs Oh! My Car instead of Oh! My God!
We enter Club, not Bar and ‘sexy’ graffiti on Bay
Area toilet doors is replaced with ‘Kiss’.
El Gado’s skin colour is
lightened, statues in final stage have modesty covered up and Belger’s transport
is luxury chair.
The final rusty nail in a
very prudish coffin is continue screen displaying TNT.
Is stabilized form of
nitroglycerine (dynamite) more offensive than chemical compound trinitrotoluene (or TNT in old money)?
Apparently.
Apparently.
Super Famicom
Alcohol references, red blood, statues display boobs, Bar, wheelchair, Roxy and Poison uncensored,
Damnd, Sodom and Oh! My God!
But…
Toilet door graffiti is still sealed
with a Kiss and Jessica wears red dress.
Excuse me – WHAT?
Final Fight Guy, 1992 (Super Famicom)
To erase previous omission, an alternative scrap was released and unsubtle title speaks for itself.
It did make a limited appearance on North American Blockbuster shelves in 1994.
So hip hip hooray, we now
have full character line-up.
Err, no we bastard don’t,
because Guy replaces Cody.
ASSHOLES!
ASSHOLES!
Intro's modified dialogue explains Cody stayed in Japan to train with Guy’s sensei and student returned home early.
Just so we're clear, Industrial Area is still missing.
Overall, more pointless than a broken pencil.
Overall, more pointless than a broken pencil.
Censorship
Super Famicom and North America
As per regular versions.
X68000, 1992
Apart from a slight dip in
resolution and less on-screen activity, this was the CPS-1 bee’s knees.
In-game tunes differed from insert coin and box housed CD brimming with unique remixes.
Censorship
Omnipotent.
Sega CD (North America) and Mega CD (PAL), 1993
Called Final Fight CD in all
territories, this basically boasts everything SNES didn’t.
In short, Guy, Roxy, Poison, animation sequences and Industrial Area all made it.
In short, Guy, Roxy, Poison, animation sequences and Industrial Area all made it.
Extended and occasionally
animated intro contained cringing voice acting.
Even with new backgrounds per character, Time Attack mode is redundant, but some may disagree?
Even with new backgrounds per character, Time Attack mode is redundant, but some may disagree?
Biffs, groans and moans are arcade
perfect and remixed themes are generally great.
Attack speed is slower and palette forces graphics to be washed out.
Censorship
Lady in red, statue’s boobs
covered up, Club, Thrasher and Katana, no blood or booze health ups, Belger’s office
chair and Oh! My Car!
Roxy and Poison wear ‘longer’
shorts and object hanging looks less like handcuffs.
Toilet doors are no longer
sexy, or given a kiss. Instead, we have
‘Ged Us’ and ‘Get U’.
Why? Who knows?
Mega CD (Japanese), 1993
Voice acting is automatically
better and I assume it to be the same spiel.
Just to confuse, that Damnd maniacal laugh is now fully animated.
Profiles are set
against a crude brick wall with just height, weight and age (no DOB).
Nicely, what can’t be ‘read’ for character introductions are heard and final improvement is ‘Final Fight’ spoken on title screen.
Nicely, what can’t be ‘read’ for character introductions are heard and final improvement is ‘Final Fight’ spoken on title screen.
Why did they make intro sound
and look more aesthetically pleasing for Japan?
Ending contains extra scene, as
before Guy and Cody walk away during credit roll, a new conversation takes
place near window.
For anybody who cares,
translation goes like this:
Cody: I guess we should be
heading out.
Guy: Okay, but are you sure?
Cody: Yeah, that’s the best
thing for Jessica and me.
Even the traditional ending
text was practically rewritten.
Oh you wanna know?
North America/PAL
Jessica: Where are you going?
How can you just walk away now?
Cody: I wanna stay here with you
Jessica but I can’t, not while evil still stalks the street.
Jessica: Oh Cody.
Japanese
Jessica: Why are you going?
Cody: I’m a man who can’t live a normal life.
If you can accept that then come with me! We’ll live like no-one else
can, Jessica!
Jessica: Cody.
Curiously, light above Bar sign doesn’t cycle through different colours
and audience watching Edi. E scrap are frozen
in time.
But light above Club sign does cycle through different colours and some of corpulent copper's crowd moves in North American/PAL version.
But light above Club sign does cycle through different colours and some of corpulent copper's crowd moves in North American/PAL version.
The mind boggles.
Censorship
Uncut.
Sexy is plastered on multiple
toilet doors, but as a sick joke, ‘Ged Us’ appears on a single door.
Mighty Final Fight, NES/Famicom 1993
Released after SNES exclusive Final Fight 2, comedic spin-off tinkers with arcade's plot.
Belger falls in love with
Jessica and kidnaps her.
It’s kinda like a less creepy
retelling of Willem Dafoe’s obsession with Ellie in Streets of Fire, who
candidly admits pretty girls 'excite' him.
Chibi sprites have
personality and classic thugs possess minor new moves.
Bosses are what you remember
and lazily become palette swaps.
Wading through each of its
five stages (Slum, Riverside, Bay Area, Old Town and Factory) is snore fucking
snore, and Double Dragon style chasms don’t need a second invitation to arrange
cheap deaths.
Still, gaining experience
points needed for new moves freshens boredom up.
Cyborg Belger smacks of Kano and
fires off arm rockets.
Along with NES versions of Strider
and Bionic Commando, this can be located on 2006 GBA compilation Capcom
Classics Mini-Mix.
Censorship
NES (North America and PAL)
The usual shit of Thrasher and what
we know to be Katana (and ‘siblings’).
Get this though.
We actually thwack women.
(Shakes head).
Famicom
Nothing to say.
Final Fight One, Game Boy Advance 2001 (North America/PAL/Japan)
Developed by Capcom Production Studio 3 (who would be responsible for Resident Evil: Dead Aim on PS2), and brought in same year as Super SF II Turbo Revival, this rights SNES wrongs.
Are we really that bothered?
Renowned SNK artist Shinkiro provided box art and just for fun, Falcoon is another famous Neo Geo artist.
The first thing that bothers
me is stupid title.
Would it be too much fucking
hassle to call it Final Fight Advance?
Obviously.
Sprites, animation and
backgrounds are lifted from SNES, but action is more intense and music isn't horrifically
compressed.
Kill enough baddies and Street Fighter Alpha 3 Cody and Guy sprites (with alternate palettes) become playable.
Kill enough baddies and Street Fighter Alpha 3 Cody and Guy sprites (with alternate palettes) become playable.
Once again, do we give a shit?
Player and bosses trade cheesy insults via non spoken dialogue.
Rolento, Sodom, Cody and Guy’s
portraits are recycled from Alpha 3, and those done specifically for update
(like ‘original’ Cody, Guy and Haggar) are fucking atrocious.
Okay, the rest are decent enough.
Okay, the rest are decent enough.
Censorship
PAL/North America
More strange decisions.
We fight Damnd and Sodom, statues have tits out, but hold the fucking front page, because Billy and Sid return.
HOLY SHIT!
Japan
Same as any Super Fammy
version
Final Fight Double Impact, PSN/Xbox Live 2010
We get arcade perfect world version and... Magic Sword.
How the fuck did developer Proper Games (great name) settle on that?
How the fuck did developer Proper Games (great name) settle on that?
Online drop-in multiplayer is obligatory, but what other carrots were dangled
to warrant forking out either £7.99 on PSN, or about £7 on Xbox?
Remixed music is audible
marmite and arcade’s old-school cabinet marquee surrounding CRT monitor can be
favoured over full screen action.
Completing challenges reaps the reward of gaining trophies and/or achievements.
For example, Haggar-ed forces ass to tackle entire game solely with…
Same thing extends to Who's that Guy and Cody-pendant.
Same thing extends to Who's that Guy and Cody-pendant.
Other chores include:
Completing stages without losing a certain amount of lives;
Completing stages without using a certain amount of continues; and
Completing stages without using a certain amount of continues; and
Completing stages under a
certain time limit.
Etc etc etc etc etc.
Success unlocks goodies
ranging from move storyboards, concept art and pages from, er, the
Street Fighter II Turbo comic.
Considering primary core can be found on Capcom Classics Collection Volume 1 (PS2/Xbox) or Capcom
Classics Collection Remixed (PSP), this is so not worth the cash.
Ultracade's badly emulated and frankly
horrible version can be unlocked in Final Fight: Streetwise, but only people on
Glow will know that.
In 2012, this formed part of 360 arcade compilation Capcom Digital Collection.
In 2012, this formed part of 360 arcade compilation Capcom Digital Collection.
The brawling (and even censorship) is far from over, and you guys may get to read all about it.
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