Friday 26 April 2019

Avengers: Endgame - The scoop and digest

The Russo Brothers not only conclude Infinity saga, but MCU itself.

Much to everybody's disappointment, Ant-Man doesn't fly up Thanos's asshole.

(Laughs).

Robert Downey Jr. - Tony Stark/Iron Man
Chris Evans - Steve Rogers/Captain America
Mark Ruffalo - Bruce Banner/Hulk
Chris Hemsworth - Thor
Scarlett Johansson - Natasha Romanoff/Black Widow
Jeremy Renner - Clint Barton/Ronin
Don Cheadle - James Rhodes/War Machine
Paul Rudd - Scott Lang/Ant-Man
Brie Larson - Carol Danvers/Captain Marvel
Karen Gillan - Nebula
Josh Brolin - Thanos

Summary

Shortly after Carol Danvers rescues Stark and Nebula from space, Nat, Steve Rogers, Bruce and co locate Thanos on Titan.

Much to their anger, geezer has already destroyed Infinity stones, nearly killing him in the process.

Thor loses it and decapitates Thanos.

WHOAH!

Five years later.

Scott escapes the quantum realm and tracks down Steve and Nat, suggesting a 'time heist' could undo what Thanos did.

Despite some teething problems, mission to find each Infinity stone begins.

Hopping through history is going swimmingly, until Nebula's cybernetic implants connect with her other self, allowing father to learn of future events.

The pressure cooker of battle is about to come to the boil.

Emotional goodbye

If anybody feared a damp squib, I can officially quash any fears.

The first to have no mid or post-credit scene isn't as good as predecessor, but still fucking epic.

Signatures displayed during credits is in homage to Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country.

Also, Hulk and Ant-Man appearing in the same film is a first.

Performances from Evans, Ruffalo, Johansson, Rudd and particularly Downey Jr. are excellent.

A special mention must go to Chris Hemsworth, as pot-bellied, beer-swilling Thunder God effortlessly makes us laugh.

Screenplay pokes fun at Timecop, The Terminator, Hot Tub Time Machine and specifically - Back to the Future II.

Amusingly, Scott slams BTTF's concept as 'a load of bullshit'.

In Knocked Up, Paul Rudd and Seth Rogen have nothing but praise for classic franchise.

Ironic coincidence?

As per Michael Douglas, Stan Lee as 'driver' is de-aged in 70s segment.

So having survived the snap, who actually dies for real?

Black Widow sacrifices herself at Vormir, so Ronin can acquire the Soul stone and after reducing Thanos and Black Order to dust, Tony passes away in the arms of Pepper Potts.

Okay, a decent sized lump soon appeared in my throat.

Enter the bitch

3 hours plus (which flew by), does contain issues.

Huge fan service battle between opposing armies is undeniably insane, but focus is all over the shop.

During which, Thanos goes all Edward I (King Longshanks) from Braveheart, ordering artillery to attack not just the Avengers, but his own people.

"I am inevitable."

Thanos's catchphrase stuck with me.

But what didn't land well:

"I am Iron Man."

Some may love direct reference to original film, but I thought it was cheesy.

Second and third acts aren't as strong as the first.

Considering Captain Marvel's post-credits scene gave her the big build-up, I'm a little disappointed she wasn't given more screen time.

Even without Tom Holland's big mouth, we knew those previously 'killed' would be brought back, so breathtaking climax of Infinity War is rendered pointless.

Thanos gives Cap America and Iron Man a good pasting, but baddie needed to beat somebody to death.

(You evil bastard).

And?

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