Sunday 14 April 2019

Pet Sematary - The scoop and digest

30 years after Mary Lambert's adaptation, Kevin Kölsch and Dennis Widmyer resurrect Stephen King's chilling tale.

Jason Clarke - Louis
Amy Seimetz - Rachel
John Lithgow - Jud
Jeté Laurence - Ellie
Hugo and Lucas Lavoie - Gage

Summary

The Creed family relocate from Boston to the sleepy town of Ludlow, Maine.

Almost immediately, Ellie discovers mysterious animal graveyard Pet Sematary, where she befriends neighbour Jud.

After moggie Church is killed off-screen by a truck, Jud persuades Louis to bury pet beyond the sematary.

Louis is stunned when Church returns home, but feline is now a nasty bastard.

During her birthday party, Ellie is distracted by Church and subsequently killed by a huge tanker.

Ignoring Jud's warnings, Louis exhumes Ellie's body.

References

It

Derry road sign.

Graveyard Shift

At the hospital, Louis says in his previous job, he worked on the...

Cujo

At Ellie's birthday bash, we hear Jud mention a Saint Bernard who got rabies.

Dead is better

Original was no classic, but God compared to this.

Performances are largely good and like Carrie (2013), sticks closer to the book.

John Lithgow doesn't disappoint as Fred Gwynne's successor, with Jeté Laurence and Amy Seimetz also impressing.

However, John Connor is duller than dirty dishwater.

Bring back the OTT screaming of Dale Midkiff.

Exposition is inevitable, but first half treats us like fucking idiots.

In regards to Ellie dying instead of Gage, I'm not particularly fussed, but tragedy is nowhere near as harrowing.

Other tidbits include Church found dead on Halloween, rather than Thanksgiving, and Jud's dog called Biffer instead of Spot.

Even when things kick off, set-pieces are devoid of suspense and horror.

As running time is slow, boring and never scary, I wouldn't blame anybody for taking a trip to dozy land.

From ghostly visions to trucks honking horns (seriously), jump scares are spectacularly ineffective.

Now for something odd.

As per Church, Ellie's zombie has one eye slightly closed.

Fine.

But at random intervals, both are open.

Errr, logic?

When Louis digs up Ellie, body is in tip top shape.

Considering how she died, I find that rather difficult to believe.

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