Eternals - The scoop and digest

Set not long after Avengers: Endgame, Chloé 'Nomadland' Zhao rips up the MCU rule book.

Gemma Chan - Sersi

Richard Madden - Ikaris

Kumail Nanjiani - Kingo

Lia McHugh - Sprite

Brian Tyree Henry - Phastos

Don Lee - Gilgamesh

Kit Harrington - Dane Whitman

Salma Hayek - Ajak

Angelina Jolie - Thena

Summary

A brutal text crawl explains that before the six singularities and the dawn of creation, prime Celestial Arishem created the first sun and brought light into the universe.

To rid the Deviants, Arishem sends an immortal group of heroes the Eternals to exterminate unnatural species of predator.

After thousands of years, the final Deviant is apparently killed.

Over time, Sersi, Ikaris, Kingo et al drift apart and do their own thing.

When prime Eternal Ajak is killed by Deviant Kro, her successor Sersi learns from Arishem that their mission was not to fight monsters, but to prepare for the 'Emergence'.

If Celestial Tiamut is born, Earth can kiss its ass goodbye.

Plan doesn't sit well with those who have grown to love humanity, but Ikaris and Sprite don't feel the same way.

Mid-credits

Aboard the Domo, Thanos's brother Eros and assistant Pip the Troll tell Thena and co their buddies are in danger.

Post-credits

Back in London, Sersi's partner Dane Whitman opens a chest containing the Ebony Blade, and before touching it, a mysterious voice (presumably Blade) questions if he's ready.

The Black Knight cometh.

Spectacularly dull

Diverse and different, but good?

Not really.

2h 40m felt like 7000 years (how long war raged between the Eternals and Deviants).

Yeah, it's extremely boring.

Action sequences don't hit the mark, lamentable characters are devoid of personality and emotional drama is neither exciting or absorbing.

From Mumbai to Tenochtitlan, to Australia, Iraq, Hiroshima and the Gupta Empire (to name a few), I didn't know if I was coming or going.

Scraping the barrel, it's visually handsome, performances are okay and extra scenes makes the future interesting.

Oh, one more thing.

Tentacled reptilians are remarkably similar to Coeurl, which appear in A. E. van Vogt's short story Black Destroyer.

Coincidence?