Sunday, 23 June 2013

If this isn't variety - you're conscientiously the greatest denier! Ud 27/06/13

Rock and roll, lock and load, lose your mind and smoke inside as your favourite cup of cocoa explodes back onto your monitor screens.

Impatience may manifest a vengeful spirit so please wash down this eye candy with a nice glass of brandy.

Besides, only a vigilant hand or eye can appreciate thy fearful symmetry.

Headswim are Better Made and Alt-J boast that all their special effects are Hand Made.

The Palace is a track by The Big Pink and Palace is the debut album from Chapel Club.

When the Sun Goes Down, Deep Purple will awake.

A Place to Bury Strangers will wreak terrible Revenge

Together with the Inspiral Carpets, you or I make an Irresistible Force.

Geology is the study of rocks and time and The Knife are smarter than any supposed professional.

Miles Kane is Taking Over this operation and you will be his first patient.

I heard a bump and a crash during the night so I was obviously expecting to find intruders but it was just 2:54 Creeping about again.

Bad Vibrations and Good Vibrations are tracks by The Black Angels and The Beach Boys respectively.

Like most, the only chance that Black Flag have in developing a Six Pack will be of that nicely chilling in the fridge.

Farewell to the Flesh is the subtitle for the awful Candyman 2 and Farewell to the Fairground is a track by White Lies.

Rewind is a track by Paolo Nutini and Be Kind Rewind is a 2008 Jack Black comedy.

All we hear is, Radio...

Gaga – Queen
Goddard – British Sea Power
Nine – Buzzcocks
Cure – Wilco
Song - Jet
Silence – Turin Brakes
Adelaide - New Found Glory

Life’s for the Living and death’s for the dying.  I really wish that Passenger should cease stating the obvious.

Editors find Smokers Outside the Hospital Doors puffing away on their chosen bad habit to be extremely inconsiderate.

Holy Rollers and Holy Motors are both unrelated films.

We’ve heard of an E Type Jag but Tindersticks drive an E Type Joe.

Grand Inversion is a track by Old Man Groom and Inversion is a 2012 video game.

Dry the River advise to Shield Your Eyes when looking at the sun as it could lead to permanent eye injury.

I thought this film was Safe but then it got Stolen and consequently caused extreme Damage to the industry.

Tiger Lily and Tiger Feet are tracks by The Bluetones and Mud respectively.

The cops tried to pin the offence of driving under the influence of drugs on Black Mountain.  The judge threw it out like dirty dishwater because they were found to be in control of a Druganaut.

Their Satanic Majesties Request was The Rolling Stones’ response to Sgt Peppers and Their Satanic Majesties Second Request is a track by Brian Jonestown Massacre.

Invisible City are tracks by Primal Scream and Crystal Stilts.  Screaming Trees lit an Invisible Lantern.

As I haven’t heard from Keane for so long, We Might As Well Be Strangers.

Kings of Leon and Rita Ora are Radioactive, I am Kloot were unharmed when exposed to Radiation and Radiator is an album by Super Furry Animals.

We Are Not Good People and All You Good Good People are songs by Bloc Party and Embrace respectively.

The other day, I caught a Bird Stealing Bread.  Iron & Wine told me not to be too harsh on the hungry feathered flying object.

I am Kloot have a disturbing fascination with Junk Culture and Band of Horses have sought help as they live in a Dumpster World.

Getting friendly with Tribes is the only way to see How The Other Half Live.

Lay Your Mother Down and Tie Your Mother Down are tracks by Divinyls and Queen respectively.

They Might Be Giants are a band and There Might Be Coffee is a track by Deadmau5.

154 is a checkout in darts that can be taken out with two treble 20s and a double 17.  It seems such a waste to throw arrows at an album from Wire.

Black Flag are a band that exudes such frustration; they make me Beat My Head Against the Wall.

I Was Born, will live and at some point, The Magnetic Fields will die.

After performing on full throttle for so long, it would be cruel to deny Chapterhouse a Breather.

High Flying Bird is a Toploader song and High Flying Birds are owned by Noel Gallagher.

Cargo is a decent 2009 sci-fi film and Colony is a track by Joy Division.  In pixels, the latter is also the second stage music from Konami’s SNES shmup classic Axelay.

Did you know that these Big Boots were made for walking, and that’s just what they’ll do, one of those days The Wedding Present will walk all over you.

Please precede the following video games with Ulitmate.

Ghosts’n Goblins, Marvel vs Capcom 3, Spider Man and Mortal Kombat.

Add Zero after each of these and hey presto, you’ll have a video game

Mega Man, Slave, Zork, Resident Evil and Perfect Dark.

Suspect Zero, Moscow Zero and Less Than Zero are random films while Cube Zero serves as a prequel to the popular franchise.  Zeros is an album by Soft Moon and Thirteen Senses counted Ones and Zeros.  Zero Chance and Year Zero are tracks by Soundgarden and 30 Seconds to Mars respectively.

Deftones may contain scenes of a Graphic Nature so viewer discretion is advised.

Bulletproof Monk is a disappointing 2003 Chow Yun-Fat action film.  Bulletproof Cupid is brought to you by Placebo and Bullet Proof Angel is a track by Goo Goo Dolls.

Paramore are so childish, they really need to Grow Up.

Killer Net, Killer Joe and Killer Elite are all films.  Killer 7 and Killer Instinct are both video games.  Killer Queen is a classic track by Queen and Killer Sounds is an album by Hard-Fi.

You must approach any situation involving Wilco with an Open Mind.

Cast are unable to escape Four Walls and Temple of the Dog are trapped inside a Four Walled World.

There’s a Fire and the alarm isn’t working.  Sod the emergency number to alert geezers with fire hoses as we need OK Go to tame this blazing inferno.

I know the outlook seems increasingly bleak but The Streets have to try and Stay Positive.

Looking At the Invisible Man seems the most pointless exercise in the history of the universe but The Dead Weather think otherwise.

Undercover Brother is a 2002 film and Unknown Brother is a track by The Black Keys.

After a boozy night in the local, I received the come on by a feisty female and believed my luck Could Well Be In here.  To top things off, the jukebox blared out The Streets as further confirmation.

Sixteen Years, Sixteen Down and Sixteen Blue are tracks by Chapterhouse, The Jayhawks and The Replacements respectively.

To exorcise supernatural hostility in the Project Zero franchise, you need the Camera Obscura.  The said item is also a band.

I Just Don’t Know What To Do With Myself as I’ve grown fed up of hearing The White Stripes.

She Knows a terrible secret but more importantly, do Screaming Trees?

Katatonia and Catatonia are both bands confused with consonants.

Guerrilla Radio is a tune by Rage Against the Machine and Guerrilla War was a 1987 SNK arcade game which built upon the massive success of Ikari Warriors and was based around the exploits of Che Guevara.

Red River is a John Wayne western and is also the subtitle to an entry in the Operation Flashpoint franchise.

RAM is essential to a computer and Random Access Memories mean everything to Daft Punk.

This is the beginning, the Crescendo of delight.  This is where we become one and Little Boots believes and fights.

Snakes on a Plane is the 2006 B-movie that most know but terrible straight to DVD rip off, Snakes on a Train had the balls to try and cash in on its success.  Okay, the plot is supernatural but holy shit, the title is great.

Fade In-Out and Fade In/Fade Out are tracks by Oasis and The Bluetones respectively.

You mustn’t believe me because I’m a Liar.  I was honest as the day is long until The Pigeon Detectives came into my life.

Sex on Fire is a commercialised Kings of Leon song and Room on Fire is an album by The Strokes.

After spending time with The War on Drugs, it was the Best Night of my life.

Lifeline and Lifelines are tracks by Papa Roach and Doves respectively.

Wooden Heart and Wooden Jesus are tracks by The Duke Spirit and Temple of the Dog respectively.

After discovering Feral children in the forest, Radiohead’s outlook on music drew incredible inspiration.

10:20 is an album by The Twang and 10:03 is brought by Doves.  3:38 is a tune by The Pop Group.

Adventureland, Skateland, Zombieland, Tigerland and Copland are all films.  Zombieland has also become a TV series.  Joyland is the latest novel from Stephen King.

Florence + The Machine maybe one of the musical acts to still own a Spectrum.

Ice Cream Van and Ice Cream Jeep are tracks by Glasvegas and Calexico respectively.

“I know it’s Unexpected, but our people in [insert land here] have something to tell you.”

That’s direct speech from my first SNES gaming feature courtesy of Actraiser.  Your task is to work out which word is also a song by The View in that quote…

To all arguing couples and those who frequently bicker alike, please listen to Daft Punk as we should all Make Love and not war.

Cast were handed a fine and 3 penalty points by performing and illegal U-Turn.

The Boo Radleys speak of Lazarus and Iron & Wine discuss matters between Me & Lazarus.  The Lazarus Project is a 2008 thriller.

The Handsome Family’s album Wilderness is fairly unique as it consists purely of animal themed songs.  Mercury Rev can be found In the Wilderness.

The City in the Sea and In The Aeroplane Over the Sea are tracks by Crystal Stilts and Neutral Milk Hotel respectively.

I had no choice but to subdue a member of Midlake because He Tried To Escape.

Teen Age Riot is a track by Sonic Youth and Atari Teenage Riot is a band.

In the Presence of God, Soulsavers and all who bear witness, I now pronounce thee husband and wife.

Welcome to a Rollercoaster of a journey, hosted by Black Mountain.

Mario is the only video game icon to impress Mercury Rev as he is the ultimate sprite to boast the fact that I Collect Coins.

When you see Dark Clouds above, you sense that hanging the washing out will be a bad idea.  However, it’s a mighty fine time to reacquaint your ears with Space.

IQ  is a 1987 computer game and QI is a smash hit panel show with Stephen Fry.

1999 is a song by The Seahorses and album by Cassius.

“Just follow The [inaudible] Path.”  Excuse me, there’s no need to be like that.  I said “Just follow The Forking Path.”  Oh sorry, I thought Old Man Groom said something else...

I Could be Nothing but instead I am something, thanks to Great Lake Swimmers.

When in trouble, Propellerheads can easily turn on the Winning Style.

Run Around and Runaground are tracks by Moon Duo and James respectively.

Ubiquitous is a cool sounding word basically meaning ‘trademark’.  Ubiquity is a song by The Orb.

Hate Your Friends and We Are Your Friends are albums from The Lemonheads and Simian respectively.

“My name is Pussy Galore.”  “I Must Be Dreaming (of Public Image Ltd).”

Youth Lagoon went missing and there was widespread panic throughout.  They shouldn’t prove too difficult to find though because there are Posters of them slapped all over town.

Meltdown is an album by Ash and a classic Red Dwarf episode.

If you Lust after The Flaming Lips, don’t be shy or embarrassed, as you aren’t the first and won’t be the last.

Silver Lining and Silver Spoon are tracks by David Gray and The Enemy respectively.

How Do You Feel Today?  Er, fine thank you Gabrielle Aplin.

A+E is an album from Graham Coxon and A&E is a track by Goldfrapp.  Brilliant, right?

I know it’s cheesy but I said to some lady that she looked Younger Than Yesterday.  It deserved to fail as that doesn’t make any sense.  Thanks very much Real Estate.

Moving, Shaking, needing, wanting, hating, loving the Great Lake Swimmers.

Blackwyche and Bloodwych are both unrelated games released in 1985 and 1989 respectively.

When my decorating was met with admiration, I explained that All My Great Design was inspired by The Walkmen.

The Wedding Present are not box clever, but Box Elder.

“When I die, I want you to Lay Me Down.”  This is the immortal request of Cold Specks.

During the Evening of the Day, there is nothing better than Supergrass.

In the morning you walk, this afternoon I ran and Tonight We Fly with The Divine Comedy.

I appreciate that you’ve recently suffered a massive disappointment in the theft of all your OK Go albums but that was ages ago so I really do think that you ought to move on and Get Over It.

The Phoenix Foundation and their café should serve up something different other than Thames Soup otherwise I fear that their business will go under.

The End is Near and Your Time is Near are tracks from The Fiery Furnaces and Caesers respectively.

Although Red and I made amends, I’m pretty sure that things will Never Be the Same again.

Like the Great Lake Swimmers, my mood Changes With the Wind.

Ys is a video game franchise and also an album by Joanna Newsom.

Enjoy a little Caramel, enjoy a lot of Blur.

The Boxer and The Fighter are both films.  The former is also a track by Editors and the latter was penned by The Fray.

Inspiral Carpets have an undisclosed Weakness and Embrace remind That My Weakness is None of Your Business.

If Justice doesn’t deliver, it’s because of Stress.

Windjammer is a track by Calexico and Windjammers is a fine 1994 Data East sports game for the Neo Geo.

There have been a countless amount of Rock Classics that music has brought over the years and The Knife bring their own solitary effort into the mix.

Traveler’s Song and Travellers Tune are tracks by Future of Forestry and Ocean Colour Scene respectively.

If I don’t speak soon, I’m afraid I may Burst like Magazine.

I Always Knew that The Vaccines would bring disappointment with their second album.

Stellify and Electrify are tracks by Ian Brown and John Power respectively.

The Pigeon Detectives would like to be Where You Are now. 

Contrary to what Cold Specks believe, Blank Maps are useless unless they're already complete.

“Hello operator?  Ah yes, can you put me through to Indirect Enquiries please?”
(A few moments pass)...
“Good Morning, directory enquiries, how can I help?”

Damn, I obviously dialled the wrong number for the Wire fanclub...

Six Degrees and Six Degrees of Separation are tunes from Scouting for Girls and The Script respectively.

This may seem a little selfish but when Field Music are gone, Who’ll Pay The Bills?

With the pressure mounting, the Editors struggled to handle The Weight of the World on their shoulders.

Bayonne is a track by Little Comets and Bayonetta is a current generation action video game.

On the football field, Deep Purple is capable of some wonderful Razzle Dazzle.

I was just getting comfortable and ready to settle down for a nap on the plane but this announcement from Grandaddy soured the mood.

He’s Simple, He’s Dumb, He’s the Pilot.

We should surely be shitting ourselves now...

Nevermore is a track by Midge Ure and NeverDead is a lamentable 2012 video game.

If you take enough illegal substances and listen to The Phoenix Foundation, a Flock of Hearts will dance merrily in the sky.

Great Lake Swimmers say I Will Never See the Sun because I am too lazy to awake.  I will do my damnedest and prove them wrong.

JetStream is a track by Cast but Jetstream succeeds as being a song by Doves. 

Black Crystal is a 1985 game and The Dark Crystal is a 1982 Jim Henson puppetry spectacular.

M79 is a track by Vampire Weekend and M83 is a band.

No matter what directions they receive, Passenger keep heading in The Wrong Direction.

Go on baby, grab those maracas and Shake them baby, yeah go on Little Boots, shake those bastards until it hurts.

The Rolling Stones managed and trained a Street Fighting Man and Feist got wet with a Sea Lion Woman.

Dreamworld and Dreaming of Another World are tracks by The Wedding Present and Mystery Jets respectively.

Look, I’m expecting a Long Distance Call from David Gray, can you transfer it over to the house?  Thanks very much, I’d appreciate it.

The House of Love does the Shake and Crawl and puts the freshness back.

How to Dress Well are Running Back and Running Wild is a heavy metal band and track by Tindersticks.

We Are Nobody but became everybody, thanks to The Chap.

What are you waiting for taxi driver?  To the City right now as I’m meeting Gene.

Radiohead smelt a Lotus Flower and Secret Affair awoke from a Lotus Dream.

In Love With Oblivion and Sweet Oblivion are albums by Crystal Stilts and Screaming Trees respectively.

The misconception of Frankenstein raises its ugly head again, only this time in lyrics.

For this to make sense, selection follows:

Space – Female of the Species

Frankenstein and Dracula have nothing on you
Jekyll and Hyde join the back of the queue
The Female of the Species is more deadly than the male

Queen – Bicycle Race

You say Rolls I say Royce
You say God give me a choice
You say Lord I say Christ
I don’t believe in Peter Pan
Frankenstein or Superman

Okay, if they used ‘Frankenstein’s monster’, it wouldn't go with the lyrics and/or tune but even so...

Fugazi were arrested for the offence ‘driving otherwise than in accordance’ due to be found only holding a Provisional licence.

Supergrass inspired creativity as soon after hearing them, I have Never Done Nothing Like That Before.

Instead of growing closer, it appears that Wilco and I have drifted Too Far Apart.

Young Guns became more frightened than a rabbit caught in Headlights.  Owl City nearly collided with a dozy Deer in the Headlights.

Caesers are Out There but just don’t want to be found.

It seems that Everyone Understands the sound of The Leisure Society, apart from me.

Knowhere is a track by David Gray and Nowhere is an album by Ride.

Unlike most, I found myself Not Addicted by The Streets.

Take Me instead and leave The Wedding Present well alone you set of bullies.

I paid absolutely No Attention to Soundgarden.

Paul Weller appeared pissed in concert and after consuming far too much Moonshine whiskey prior to appearing on stage.

This is the perfect match.  Dust to Dust is a song by Chromatics and Ashes to Ashes is a famous David Bowie track.

I guarantee that by the time The Chemical Brothers have finished, they’ll have you jumping through Hoops.

Johnny English, The Howling and The Mangler are all films that were unfortunately Reborn.

Son, Ambulance pick Wild Roses and The Rolling Stones failed to control Wild Horses.

Flying Lotus will be here Until the Quiet Comes.

Cradle 2 the Grave is a 2003 Jet Li film and Cradle to the Grave is a track by Airbourne.

It’s not a question of when How to Dress Well will score, it’s How Many?

Paolo Nutini is one band, consisting of a Million Faces and I am Kloot left me with A Million Things to do.

Black Flag are in indeed are a well oiled Machine.

I Want Candy is a 2007 film and The Raveonettes are confident that You Want the Candy.

Particles are separated or become one with Deptford Goth.

Willis without the Bruce is associated with Sea of Bees.

Oi, don’t ignore me because How to Dress Well are Talking to You.

Every time I hear The Stranglers and Toploader, I become nervous and weak.  I suppose they must be my Achilles Heel.

Sonic Boom is not only a famous special move from Guile, it’s also a 1987 Sega shmup.  Sonic Youth is a band and Sonic Wind is a track by Calexico.

Like Drawing Blood is an album from Gotye and Like Spinning Plates is a track by Radiohead.

I want to cover Noah and the Whale in Silver and Gold.  Gold and Silver are the end baddies that Golgo 13 must overcome in a classic 1983 feature length film.

Cast will Lose Myself and Longpigs have Lost Myself.

Sleeping with One Eye Shut is the only way that you’ll understand Tribes.

I and Wire share Attractive Space.

If you want an Easy Way to Cry, stick David Gray on.

The aim of essential 2P video game Return Fire is to Capture the Flag and report back to base with it.  Okay, can you spot a song by Broken Social Scene in that sentence?  Of course you can.

Do you want to know when the next Dark Dark Dark gig is held?  Sorry, I really wish I could tell you but It’s a Secret.

The local rag is giving away free tickets to a concert headlined by The Boxer Rebellion next week.  Well, I can Dream.

Reminder is a song by Mumford & Sons and The Reminder is an album by Feist.

As they've recently upset a lot of people, Crystal Stilts are doing their level best in keeping a Low Profile.

Teenage Rebellion and Township Rebellion are tracks by The Gaslight Anthem and Rage Against the Machine.

Girlfriend are tracks by Avril Lavigne and Semi Sonic.  Boyfriend is a song by Best Coast.

Behind the cogs and Machines, The Knife lay in wait.

Spiders is an album by Space and a track by Editors.

Good Charlotte is met with a Good Morning Revival and Soulsavers merely pray for a Revival.

Future of Forestry and dentists share something in common as both may say Open Wide.

Switchfoot are making me grow more and more Restless.

It’s an old clichĂ© but if only they’d have taken their Chances, The Strokes would smash anybody in sport.

If this is the last Verse of a song I sing, it’s important that it must by Rhye.

Come With Us is an album by The Chemical Brothers and Join With Us is a track by The Feeling.

Do me a favour, change the CD as I fancy some tunes by The Seahorses.  No you lazy git, Do It Yourself.

Bodies and Minds is a track from Great Lake Swimmers and Hearts and Minds is a 1995 drama starring Christopher Eccleston set in a tough Liverpool school.

The Horn can be pushed to intimidate or wind up others.  Midlake are serial abusers of using such a sound-making device.

Shoot ‘Em Up is a 2007 Clive Owen action film farce and Shoot Em Up is a 1985 game.

Be Somebody is a song by The Enemy and To Be a Somebody is unquestionably the best Cracker episode with Robert Carlyle being simply brilliant as Albie.

You mustn't stare at The Phoenix Foundation as that would be just rude, but they’d appreciate a Sideways Glance.

Open Your Arms and let Editors fall within your embrace.

1+1, 2 + 2 = 5 and 4x4=12 are tracks by Scouting for Girls, Radiohead and Deadmau5 respectively.

In Pursuit of Happyness is a 2006 Will Smith film and crazily, In Pursuit of Happiness is a track by The Divine Comedy.

Yes are tracks by Coldplay, Manic Street Preachers and Sebastian.  No is a song by The Wedding Present and an album from Old Man Groom.

I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor is a positive assumption made by the Arctic Monkeys and Put It on the Dancefloor is a discarded tune by The Twang.

Alligator Sky and Alligator Blood are tracks by Owl City and Bring Me the Horizon.  Alligator Hunt is an obscure 1994 Cabal stealing arcade game by Spanish company Gaelco.

Brace yourself and try and stay calm for what I’m about to tell you.

After careful consideration, I’m sorry, but this is [pauses] over.

Wow, stop that blubbing, cease the hysterics and banish those blues because I’m only teasing...

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