Friday, 14 June 2013

The lean and green pixel machines - Arcade ports and shorts

The 80's was host to much including 8 bits, wacky fashion, classic action films, synthesized music and interesting haircuts. 

Also, we had the alternative fab four which ensured that parents needed a very deep pocket to secure all things green for their nagging children.  Yep, they were indeed the latest craze and remained the cat's whiskers for many years.

Today, they don't pack people's lunches like they used to.

Sega's Golden Axe set the standard but  when Konami secured a certain licence in 1989, it kicked the necessary ass.

The arcade boasted larger than life characters, oodles of personality, unprecedented quality and audible trademark catchphrases ensured it was entirely bodacious.

I remember pumping coins into this bastard like it was yesterday.  You can bet your ass that it was 10p or 20p a credit.

Hopes were unrealistically pinned on home computers and consoles to replicate the antics of the coin gobbling original but graphics and sound were hugely compromised.

4P simultaneous play?  You can turtlely forget it. 

Due to the massive success of Turtles, Konami never looked back as they also bagged licences for The Simpsons and X-Men and created identical 'if it ain't broke, don't fix it concepts'.

X-Men was insane because in very special arcade haunts, a super deluxe version unleashed 6P carnage.  Not only was the cabinet huge, but it was also housed with dual CRT's.  One was set in the traditional place but the other was hidden below and reflected its display via a mirror, making for a widescreen effect.

Unlike Turtles, no official home port of those games ever surfaced.

The 1990 live action film was better than expected featuring clever animatronics and reasonable fight sequences.

Please be aware, I'm purposely ignoring the 'other' notorious Turtles game because I don't want your eyes to bleed.

I will be exploring all relevant versions and this blade will be sharper than the prongs on Shredder's gauntlets.

Part of the arcade intro and...
...its title screen
The C64 title screen makes a superb effort in combining both
Player select.
Spectrum 128K
Amiga - Please look and remember Donatello.
Unfortunately, as the numerous machines didn't possess turtle power, it meant that in-game action was pretty useless.

Spectrum 128K
Bless the Commodore's cotton socks as the foot solider holding even made it.
Amstrad CPC - Apart from being very garish and bright, this building was not burning.  Why?
You don't need a turtle com to analyse the above screen as what the fuck is going on here?  This isn't some sick joke as what you are seeing is the real shit.  Oh, it's still not clear?  I'll wipe the mud from your blurred vision.

This turtle has nicked Donatello's signature weapon, borrowed Leonardo's elbow and knee pads and rented Raphael's eye mask.  Who is this impostor?  I know it's Donaraphaleogo.  Remember those video game mistakes I mentioned...

Holy Guacamole, that's brilliant.

Here's the intense and still awesome insert 4P coin fest.  Just look at the difference compared to the home versions.  I'm fairly sure that Raphael was the only one who could roll. 

Turtles 2 'The Arcade Game' on the NES was really cool as while the arcade original was largely used (including the stage complete screens), it had more surprises than Radiohead.  Pizza Hut also struck to a deal to advertise its dough and toppings...

Turtle select screen.
Rocksteady issuing a verbal taunt in the arcade.
The same but different screen was appropriately changed to accommodate the new challenge in 'inglorious' pink.  April got her girlway eventually...

He did have his say in the arcade too.  While you're in town, don't forget to visit the Electoric store now will you? 

Baxter featured as a boss in all versions but using the arcade made most sense.
Double trouble!
Baxter causing a nuisance while buzzing about in Buzzland. 
The port on Nintendo's uber famous console contained two unique stages featuring unseen enemies, obstacles and bosses.

Let's melt snow and Tora
Casting Ninja Magic and removing the Shogun myth 
It also contained a curious (laughs) looking Splinter...

Arcade - how he can look so cheerful when surrounded by that horrible yellow square?  Yuck!
NES - Why the glad rag palette change?  Whatever, right but at least grey looks better than The Simpsons.
Here he is just before the wise old dude is rescued.  Yeah, it made more sense to do this back to front.  Anyway, what 's the deal here as Splinter looks more like...
...Rabbit of Winnie the Pooh fame.
The arcade presents another aesthetically pleasing pre-stage screen. 
This description of the final stage always makes me chuckle as it makes no sense.  The suggestion here is that they haven't found the Technodrome but this appears AFTER the above screen.  
We reach the end with text and screens...

Like Ghosts 'n Goblins on the Amiga, the NES port fixed amusing Engrish written in another Dimension.
Spectrum 128K - Hey, notice the goof?  Pop an apostrophe between the t and s in 'thats'... grammar power
As a final shelled surprise, you could only find The Manhattan Project on the NES in 1992.  Here's a short staff roll to demonstrate who you'd come up against...

If I take you away, you won't mind, because next time, I'm promising you that I'm taking the Turtles back in time.

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