Underneath the streets of gay Paris, the Catacombs have stored bones of the
dead for around 30 years.
Prior to
its creation in the 1700’s, the dead were buried in cemeteries but quickly
became overcrowded. The crypts are said
to hold 6 million Parisian bones, nearly three times the population of France ’s capital today.
Director
John Erick Dowdle sets up shop in found footage territory that could add meat
to a tiring genre.
Plot
details and/or spoilers will be missing cheese and wine.
The only
way is down, baby for:
Perdita
Weeks – Scarlett
Ben Feldman
– George
Francois
Civil – Papillon
Edwin Hodge
- Benji
Alchemy
enthusiast Scarlett enters Iran to continue her father’s work and
acquire the Flamel stone.
She locates
the Rose Key and escapes a collapsing cave.
In Paris , former lover George translates an
ancient dialect on the back of Flamel’s headstone that suggests the fabled Philosopher’s
Stone is buried in a secret location beneath the Catacombs.
They enlist
explorer Papillon and his crew to enter via alternative means.
George isn't too keen on joining them because his brother drowned in a cave but the police make the decision for him…
Ignoring
the map, they take a detour that involves bumping into a guy who’s been missing
for years.
A ‘disconnected’
phone ringing and George finding his piano with the same broken key are
occurrences that naturally raise eyebrows.
Scarlett
removes the Flamel stone but as treasure glistens, the ceiling doesn’t take too
kindly to robbery…
As they go
deeper, revisited rooms cast a darker reflection.
Oh shucks, Silent Hill already thought of that.
Just like Indy’s Last Crusade, her ‘holy grail’ heals wounds.
“Abandon
all hope, ye who enter here.”
This inscription directly references the famous excerpt from Dante's Inferno which incidentally, is also used to introduce the final stage of Jaleco's 1993 SNES scrolling brawler The Peace Keepers.
This inscription directly references the famous excerpt from Dante's Inferno which incidentally, is also used to introduce the final stage of Jaleco's 1993 SNES scrolling brawler The Peace Keepers.
Souxie is killed by that nasty guy, Benji learns he can’t fly, a blazing
car’s passenger drags Pap below ground (leaving only his legs), and George is
munched upon by a pissed off statue.
Mad monks in
dishevelled Primark gowns wander like drunken virgins.
Remember,
this is supposed to be ‘hell’.
Errr…
The stone
loses the power to revitalise and retracing what should be perilous steps, she
returns the cheap looking prop and gains magical powers from the true stone.
Ha ha
ha. How amusing.
George is kissed
by the returning Godsend and realising this place is feasting on individual torment;
Scarlett convinces a leap of faith down a bottomless pit will extinguish evil.
Landing
safer than houses, a manhole cover grants freedom.
My expectations were high but oh my word - what a tremendous failure.
The setting (also used in the originally titled and lacklustre 2007 horror Catacombs) is inspired, but application is poorer than a down on his luck tramp.
Suspense
builds and attention grabs but soon develops into a cliché driven travesty.
Doom 3 paints a far more effective vision of eternal damnation and for paranoia to rage, look no further than Gamecube classic Eternal Darkness.
Doom 3 paints a far more effective vision of eternal damnation and for paranoia to rage, look no further than Gamecube classic Eternal Darkness.
Pap refers to Souxie as a Banshee, referencing band Siouxsie and the Banshees.
Did they spell her name wrong on purpose?
Not satisfied with largely ripping off The Descent (minus a great ending), we laugh at The Goonies, dressed as a desperately bad psychological horror.
Not satisfied with largely ripping off The Descent (minus a great ending), we laugh at The Goonies, dressed as a desperately bad psychological horror.
Treasure
hunting, booby traps and George occasionally making sense of a forgotten
language (instead of Spanish) more than seals the deal.
As a
startling coincidence, both actors share the same surname and no, they’re not
related.
Well fancy that.
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