Thursday, 4 September 2014

Hearing the same, seeing different - Final Crack

To complete this tasty trilogy, a larger than life feature awaits.

Along with some miscellany, there's lots of goodies to wade through so let's proceed.

3rd and Third (albums from The Baseball Project and Portishead respectively)



For fun, #3 - The Script


Armageddon and Armour-Geddon


1991 action strategy for DOS, Atari ST and Amiga.
Love and Luv



Game Boy and Gameboy


Gameboy - Jacek Yerka
Phantasmagoria and Fantasmagoria (albums from The Damned and Epysode respectively)



There's also this 1995 FMV driven interactive horror.


It was followed by the hugely controversial sequel, A Puzzle of Flesh.

The End and The E.N.D


The Energy Never Dies.
Sx_Tape and Sex Tape

An original take on the ever popular found footage genre as after recording their lust in a disused hospital, the ghost of a former patient possesses.
It's nothing great, but worth watching.

Bare (Annie Lennox album) and Bear



Coma and Koma



Okay guys, I've gone easy on you so far but now I crank the volume up to eleven.

Good Mourning (Alkaline Trio album) and Good Morning


A 1959 Japanese comedy film.
Congo and Kongoh


After SNK's demise, Playmore (before they became SNK Playmore), hired most to tarnish and pollute the Neo Geo name with general bullshit.
In 2001, Noise Factory ensured that at least Sengoku 3 featured nice animation.
Gil and Gill

This is one of four chars in Video System's 4P side scrolling brawler Karate Blazers.
The Mysterious Fighter.  What's justice to him?
What the fuck does that mean?
Capcom finally gave us Street Fighter III in 1997.
Expect to face red and blue in New Generation, 2nd Impact and 3rd Strike.
Gill bemoans the fact he's bound to be ahead of Nemo to complement a popular English dish that goes with chips, mushy peas, buttered bread and probably condiments.
Thaw, Thor and Four


Chris Hemsworth unsuccessfully took the Marvel char to the big screen.

Bloc Party - Four
Berk and Burke

Our boy in blue is general dogsbody for The Thing Upstairs in classic claymation children's TV show The Trap Door.
Simon Pegg and Andy Serkis star as the grave-robbing duo out to make a fast buck in John Landis' black comedy Burke & Hare.
The name's Burke, Carter Burke.  I like to fuck people over for a goddamn percentage.
You'll probably know John Jarratt as murderer Mick Taylor in Wolf Creek but in 2012 horror comedy 100 Bloody Acres, he's Sgt Burke.
Van Damme as Burke in silly but entertaining prison action thriller Death Warrant.
Electra and Elektra

Baddie from Sega's Streets of Rage 3.
Jennifer Garner plays the part in this largely forgettable Daredevil spin-off.
Goza and Gozer

Gargoyle's Quest 2 has a Neptune like monster as its end boss.
Ivan Reitman's Ghostbusters is probably the greatest supernatural comedy of all time.
Slavitza Jovan's impact is brief, but remains one of Hollywood's most iconic villains.
As the name is so close...

Goda is a monster from the original Breath of Fire on SNES.
Sin and Synn

It sounds shite, looks shite and probably is well, shite. 
This fire-breathing beastie is the end boss to Capcom's Dungeon & Dragons arcade sequel, Shadow over Mystara.
Thrak (King Crimson album) and Frak!



Bread and Bred

Carla Lane's famous British sitcom follows how the Boswell family make ends meet.
(Arcade)
Oh! My God!!
I'm blubbing like a bastard baby and while I cry, I hope you jolly well die.
(SNES)
Oh! My Car (is a fucking right off and not even worth salvaging for scrap).
Cobra and Kobra


Mortal Kombat Deception should join Cyrax in the desert.
Chaos and Kaos

Toshinden pre-dated Namco's hugely successful Soul series.
Before umpeeling 64 bits, Donkey Kong Country 3: Dixie Kong's Double Trouble was the last tree the SNES swung from.
Sheba and Shiba

An essential requirement for all you pussies out there.
Appearing in Dreamcast shmup thing Cannon Spike, Shiba is a tribute to Siva from Midnight Wanderers.
He was definitely one of Three Wonders.
Knightmare and Nightmare

The only way is onward, there is no turning back.


A Catacomb Bite was practically invulnerable and therefore, is best subdued by magic.
Nightmare - Boris Vallejo
Siegfried's evil alter-ego, as seen in Soulcalibur IV.
Nightmare is also a 1981 slasher film.

Rafael and Raphael

Rio 2 flaps its Amazonian wings. 
We're not genetic accidents, but aliens with acid for blood?
Shit man, that is so not cowabunga.
Nicky and Niki

Adam Sandler is Nicky from mediocre comedy Little Nicky.
Urotsukidoji is filled with blood, monsters, masturbation, sex, sex, and more sex.
Nick (Christopher Walken) has one shot too many in 1978 classic The Deer Hunter.
Suffering from terminal lung cancer, John Cazale of The Godfather and Dog Day Afternoon fame completed all his scenes but died tragically before the film was completed.
XXX and Xexex


Konami's 1991 sick arcade shmup was light years ahead of its time and still looks fantastic today.
Jikkyou Oshaberi Parodius sweetly gave a candy coated tribute.
Checkered Flag and Chequered Flag

This 1991 effort on Atari's ill-fated handheld was remade for Jaguar in 1994.
Scaling effects were intermittently used in 1988 top down vroom action.
Five years before, Speccy owners could burn rubber from a totally different viewpoint.
It was one of the very first tapes I owned.
Pretty weird, right?.

Narc and Nark

Cover art for one of several 1988 home releases.
Welcome to the Fantasy Zone.  Get Ready (to dodge and shoot down all sorts of shit).
The message of "Ready?  Many more battle scenes will soon be available" didn't hang around for long but still got in the bastard way.
Peculiar sound effects accompanied relentless action and other stages
 included Parms, Amar, Olisis, Drail and Moot.
The thinking behind those names?  (Shrugs shoulders).
Ignoring the Master System original, Space Harrier 3-D utilised the Segascope LCD glasses in 1988, as did Poseidon Wars.  Line of Fire had its fill later in 1991.

Chuckie and Chucky

One of several Rugrats created to simply annoy.
I'm a serial killing soul trapped inside a Good Guy doll.
Wanna play?
Cheryl and Sheryl

"The lock is jammed.  This door can't be opened."
"It looks like the lock is broken.  I can't open it."
How can she raise a smile?

Demented cow.
The Rumble Fish 2 brought an assortment of oddities on the Atomiswave arcade board.
Ecco and Echo

Debuting in 1992, the mammal going ' eek' certainly impressed on Mega Drive.
Beverly d'Angelo's name was the butt of a cheesy joke in Every Which Way But Loose.
The Echo...


Scutter and Skutter

Namco's Galaxy 3: Project Dragoon 1994 arcade had two laserdisc players running concurrently.
Before back-up computer Queeg 500 assumes command of Red Dwarf, Lister and Cat watch in contempt as Rimmer wins a game of draughts by default.
Huey and Hewie

I never liked Duck Tales.  In fact, it drove me quackers.
Meet Fiona's trusty canine companion in Clock Tower 4, er Haunting Ground.
The thinking behind Huey's design in Video System's obscure arcade fighter Tao Taido was inspired by a lying shit called Pinocchio.
Terabyte and Terror Bite

There is no point in wasting 1000 gigs of hard drive space...

VSSE agents Giorgio Bruno and Evan Bernard evade a military developed bio weapon in Time Crisis 4.
S.E.T.H. and Seth

Michael Jai White provides computer speak in the particularly awful Universal Soldier: The Return.
I've always loathed Seth as a char and end boss to Street Fighter IV.
Max Shreck and Max Schreck

Christopher Walken's crooked millionaire businessmen got deep fried in Tim Burton's decent sequel Batman Returns.
You're looking at the vampire in F.W. Murnau's 1922 silent masterpiece and unauthorised adaptation of Bram Stoker's Dracula.
Whether reference or coincidence - freaky stuff.

Shadow of the Vampire told a fictionalised account behind the making of Nosferatu, with John Malkovich and Willem Dafoe as director and monster respectively.

Hana, Hannah and Hanna

Central protagonist from the Fear Effect series on PS1.
Frank's teenage daughter didn't make 28 Weeks later and 28 Months Later will never fucking happen.
Hanna plays a pivotal role in Silent Hill: The Arcade.
One more.

Hanna (Saiorse Ronan) stars in the 2011 eponymously titled action thriller.
Z, Zead and Zed

This real-time strategy originally appeared on PC in 1996.
This mysterious mister in Castlevania: Curse of Darkness on PS2 turns out to be Death warmed up on toast.
We are left to imagine the unimaginable pain of what a pair of pliers and blowtorch can inflict upon rapist Peter Greene in Tarantino's rather fantastic Pulp Fiction.
To mop up, we have Zed from Wild Arms.


Now for the marvellous and magnificent (in no particular order).

Melina and Mileena

Quaid's apparently a two-faced bastard.
You can't blame him angel.  He's innocent.
Mileena (played by Katalin Zamiar) began life in Mortal Kombat II and wasn't Kitana's twin sister, but a clone created by Shang Tsung.
Xena and Zena

Warrior Princess Lucy Lawless swung her stick in a xexy way.
Voiced by Tsu Do Nim, meet Prison Planet Geo's warden in body-shock horror anime Guy: Awakening of the Devil.
The final OVA to feature Guy and Raina was Double Target.

Tyrants Lord Noima (left) and Lady Arcana rule Planet Frezon and when they awake a monster within the Golden Goddess, the result of their sacrifice must be defeated.
Guenter and Gunter


Invented by Professor Farnsworth, the Electronium hat makes this monkey in Futurama brighter than the average button. 
Sunsoft's Galaxy Fight on Neo Geo served a nice slice of fighting pie.
The Ice King in Cartoon Network's Adventure Time gives penguin servants the same name but depending on personality, pronounces each differently.
Theo and Fio

Computer whizz Theo (Clarence Gilyard Jr) wasn't hired by Hans (Alan Rickman) for his charming personality, but to open the Nakatomi vault in John McTiernan's Die Hard.
Fio made her debut in Metal Slug 2.
The 1996 original was developed by Nazca and not SNK.
Boni and Boney

I've opened The Trap Door again and a disembodied skull is Berk's closest friend.
Boneys aren't the friendliest types in inoffensive 'zomromcom' Warm Bodies.
Cammy and Cammie

Newcomer Cammy instantly provided charm in Super Street Fighter II.
Lucy Deakins was the irritating love interest in hit and miss comedy The Great Outdoors.
Holly Wood and Holli Would


El Gado's mate in Final Fight.
To say this bitch wasn't a slut in forgotten live action cartoon hybrid Cool World is like claiming a pro isn't up for giving sexual favours.
Selene and Silene

Kate Beckinsale kicks Lycan ass in the Underworld franchise.
A char from the PS1 port of 3D fighter Fighters' Impact.
The final pair to stand and stare...

La Roux and Laru

This time baby I'll beeeeee Bulletproof.
Not to be confused with area bosses, terror twins Sword and Flame make Stage 2 boss Laru in Midnight Wanderers.
Wow.  That's total genius.  How the hell do you dream up all this crazy ass shit?

It's a talent.

Even so...

Shut up will ya, you'll make me blush.

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