Thursday, 31 March 2016

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice - The scoop and digest

I Am Legend featuring fake superimposed logo as in-joke at the expense of screenwriter Akiva Goldsman has for some reason, achieved legendary status.

An early draft script was written but as film obviously never got made, was wound up.

In fact, several were cancelled, including Batman v Superman: Asylum.

Back in 1997, Goldsman penned Batman & Robin - one of the worst films of all time.

Moving on.

Zack Snyder follows up his 2013 reboot Man of Steel as both capes share live action for the first time.

Ben Affleck - Bruce Wayne/Batman
Henry Cavill - Clark Kent/Superman
Jesse Eisenberg - Lex Luthor
Amy Adams - Lois Lane
Jeremy Irons - Alfred
Gal Gadot - Wonder Woman/Diana Prince

From Bruce's point of view, Superman's destructive battle with General Zod is played out.

18 months later, not all of Metropolis can forgive and forget collateral damage illegal alien caused.

Kryptonite is recovered from Indian Ocean which Lex Luthor intends to use as a biological weapon.

During a fundraiser, Bruce uses memory stick to download data from LexCorp's mainframe and learns about Lex's plans.

Superman attends a Congressional hearing at U.S Capitol to explain previous exploits and boom time claims the lives of many.

Of course nobody suspects Lex and boy in blue goes missing.

Batman creates spear and armoured suit from green mineral in preparation to attack Superman.

Meanwhile, using his own DNA and Kryptonian technology, Lex gives Zod's corpse a new lease of life.

Lex tells Superman unless the head of Batman is brought, his adoptive mother dies.

The moment we've been waiting for:

Son of Krypton vs Bat of Gotham.

An exhausted Batman nearly kills Superman with pointed object but instead, elects to rescue rival's mother from Russian stronghold.

Superman confronts Lex whose monstrous ace up villainous sleeve is born.

Or put another way:

"Your Doomsday."

Even with the help of Prince wearing fancy dress costume, nothing really works, as the bastard thrives on absorbing energy.

They require something capable of weakening Kryptonian cells.


Superman simultaneously retrieves spear and fishes out Lois from submerged area.

Does he need to launch into space and turn back time, a la Christopher Reeve?

Nah, she's cool.

Spear penetrates otherwise invincible chest and monster's bony protrusions secures double K.O.

Batman visits a now shaven-headed Lex inside prison and warns he'll be watching his every move.

Darkseid is coming.


Complete with insignia engraved on coffin, Metropolis honours deceased by holding protracted funeral.

I know - embarrassing.

A more private affair takes place in Smallville and Bruce informs Prince recruiting a team is essential to protect the world from Luthor's retaliation.

Just before credits roll, soil levitates six feet under.


Overdue, overblown and hugely disappointing, hype fails to match expectation.

Plagued by uninteresting character development, convoluted plot covers far too much.

Stupid or not, scrap is fairly well orchestrated but more one-sided than great white shark against wounded seal.

However, by far the dumbest thing is Batman suddenly deciding not to finish off Superman, just because his mother shares the same name.


Nuke obsessed finale compounds disorganised chaos and who should end boss remind us of?

Lord of the Rings cave troll? Ninja Turtle?

Maybe and probably, but no - he's the fucking Abomination of The Incredible Hulk.

Singing positive notes, Ben Affleck makes a great caped crusader and Jeremy Irons' brief input is smoother than whisky sipped.

Eisenberg adopting the approach of mad scientist?

Was Zack Snyder smoking the same drugs as Craig Gillespie when casting Christopher Mintz-Plasse and David Tennant in the Fright Night remake?


As for Michael Shannon, he's a little stiff.


Original scenario inserts slices of Frank Miller's The Dark Knight Returns (face off and Superman feeling the brunt of nuclear missile) and The Death of Superman (Doomsday and Superman killing each other).

1994 SNES/Mega Drive scrolling brawler The Death and Return of Superman took several steps further by including playable clones.

'Hahaha Joke's On You Batman' refs second Robin Jason Todd and  story A Death in the Family.

Folders containing videos of Cyborg/Victor Stone and Aquaman/Arthur Curry are Justice League appetizers.

Vision of apocalyptic future, Parademons (Darkseid's minions), Omega symbol and The Flash/Barry Allen emerging from time portal chatting shit about Lois sets up something that may never come to cinematic fruition.

"Am I too early?"

I don't know mate, are you?

In the same dream sequence, Superman unmasks and kills Batman.

Titles show Bruce's parents murdered and whether intended or not, is much the same as Tim Burton's 1989 Batman, right down to Martha's broken pearl necklace.

Next up in extended universe is Suicide Squad.

Should be...

We'll see.

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