Wednesday, 10 April 2013

Dark Skies - The scoop and digest

Without immediately putting the hex on this, my expectations were pretty high.

This is from the guys behind Insidious, Sinister and Paranormal Activity so providing you liked the breakfast, dinner and tea that those served up, this should be a meal fit for a king as it’s a true mash up of all three.

Unlike like Priest and Legion, Scott Stewart chooses not to include Paul Bettany.

Maybe he was auditioning for Wimbledon 2: Hawkeye with Kirsten Dunst going on a murderous rampage due to a dubious line call.

Plot details and/or spoilers will be discovered either side of darkness and light.

Those hoping that Mulder and Scully are available include:

Josh Hamilton – Daniel
Keri Russell – Lacy
J.K. Simmons – Pollard
Dakota Goyo – Jesse
Kadan Rockett – Sam

Two possibilities exist:

Either we are alone in the Universe or we are not.

Both are equally terffifying.

Arthur C. Clarke

A quote from Visions: How Science Will Revolutionize the Twenty-First Century (1999), by Michio Kaku.

We are introduced to the Barrett’s, who consist of Daniel, Lacy and sons, Jesse and Sam.

Bringing home the bread has become more of a struggle and brings strain to the family.

We see that before shut eye, Jesse communicates with Sam via walkie talkie who speaks about The Sandman and his insane lust for removing visual aids.

We don’t have to wait too long before the first ‘incident’ as somebody has raided the fridge and selfishly not tidied up after themselves.

Events gradually turn sourer than neglected milk.

The Story Goes something like this (hey Lightning Seeds, I’m calling the shots)...

This may be slightly out of sync but whatever, here it is.

When food is stacked up in a complicated geometric pattern to excite any mathematician, Lacy is understandably taken aback and we also notice strange symbols reflected on the ceiling.

When Sam chats about nightmares and The Sandman, could he really be coming to bring the family a dream?

I suppose this is a good enough excuse to dust off an alarm and when it inevitably makes a noise, no intruders are found and is assumed to be a malfunction.

What unnerves more though is the removal of all photographs leaving the frames to be as naked as a newborn.

One day in the park, Sam wets himself when playing football with children.  When challenged by Daniel, he howls with a pitch so shrill, it could shatter glass.

Meanwhile back at the ranch, Lacy witnesses hundreds of birds bombarding the house and ending their feathered lives.

Whilst enjoying breakfast, Daniel asks Lacy to hand him the newspaper to see if this avian incident has made the news.  He’s puzzled when there is no mention of a certain ornithological variety which has somehow escaped journalistic attention...

Later that night, Lacy then apparently sees a figure in Sam’s room and he’s found in the garden, fascinated by something that we can’t see.

How did he get there?  He hasn’t got a Scooby.

Security cameras are promptly installed around the home to hopefully make light of this series of unexplained events.

After investigating slow motion playback, unusual interference is captured that confuses Daniel...

During a possible property sale, it’s going well and the fish are biting but just before Lacy can haul them in, she suddenly can’t speak and her head has a nasty argument with a glass door.

Shortly after, she wakes up and finds that the glass won as a mirror reveals a large bruise.

She is informed by her employer that because she left her clients terrified as they thought she was having some kind of breakdown, an enforced break is needed.

Lacy decides to do what we shouldn’t but probably all have done at some point, by using the internet to self-diagnose a problem.

After a bit of surfing, she finds and prints out pictures of children’s drawings that depict beings that bear a resemblance to the ones that Sam has drawn.  Her research strongly suggests that aliens may be involved.

Holy shit, she better phone home then.

Daniel is next to experience a zombie like trance as Lacy finds him outside suffering a heavy nosebleed.

Heck, not even a dentist would expect you to open ‘that’ wide.

Personally, I think Daniel should blame Mansun as She Makes My Nose Bleed.

When the possibility of alien activity is discussed, he dismisses this insanity.

At some point, Sam and Jesse are found to be covered in bruises and strange symbols respectively.

Sam’s secret is spilled when he lifts his shirt at a pool party and Jesse’s is discovered by a doctor after having an ‘eye rolling’ seizure in a forest.

During another out of body nightmare, Daniel is alerted to Sam’s room and his son’s eyes are no more.  He wakes up in a sweat and starts to believe that there might be something in his wife’s elaborate claim of extraterrestrial exposure.

He and she seek advice from Pollard, an expert who conveniently resides in town.  After a Q & A session with Nick Nolte in close attendance, the boxes are ticked to say that they have been ‘chosen’ and are basically shoulder deep in shit.

Three types of alien are shown to them - Grays, Insectoids and Reptilians.

In his opinion, the closest colour to silver are responsible and what Daniel describes as a bite and/or rash behind his ear is revealed by Pollard to be an implant used by the Grays to control your body.  Our expert also has a similar rash and also explains blackouts and loss of memory.

After the warning of probable child abduction, it’s time to fight back against those discoloured bastards and three simple rules should be followed.

Rule 1 – Buy high powered shotgun;
Rule 2 – Acquire dangerous woof woof; and
Rule 3 – Board up all possible entry to humble abode

We now experience our final encounter.

The family reminisce over previous Independence Days and watch the celebrations on telly.

This air of calm is cut short as static causes a familiar reoccurrence of unease and dread.

After a build up of clich├ęd tension, panic, more bark than a tree and wooden boards unscrewing without a tool, we finally see the critters.

In fairness, they don’t look ridiculous.

With gunfire been about as effective as eating soup with a fork, the family appear to be at the mercy of their tormentors but then, silence.

The house seems to melt around Jesse who promptly hears distant thudding.  It leads him to Dad thumping the butt of his shotgun on the floor, with Mum laid dead adjacent.

Before squeezing the trigger, Daniel signs off with something like, “You were right, I’ve ruined everything.”

He finds Sam crouched but then reality returns home.  The family watch in horror as the Grays do their thing.

Three months later...

As red hot suspects, the Barrett’s are now elsewhere and are adapting to life without Jesse.

Lacy is rummaging through Jesse’s belongings and finds drawings of him with the Grays which he drew at a tender age.

If those symbols weren’t enough evidence, he was the target and not Sam.

Upon this terrifying realisation, static begins emitting through the walkie talkie...

Stewart should have called his movie Alien Poltergeist because that’s the taste it leaves.

You don’t have to know much about movie history to recognise the clear tribute to Hitchcock’s 1963 classic, The Birds.

The objects stacked on top of each other insults a certain film as even the conversation is ripped off as Lacy becomes Diane (Jobeth Williams) and Sam assumes the role of Carol Anne (the late Heather O’Rourke).

Nobody adjust your monitor as the TV people aren’t required and at least nobody says “They’re here.”

Even if this pays homage to the 1982 classic, I curse thee on innovation.

This is not a particularly depressing film but is made a far more miserable yarn because everybody portrays their char as an odious boil.

Let’s be clear, you can’t extend any sympathy to their plight or situation and compels you to hate multiple guts.

Jesse has a porn viewing and pot smoking friend and whether you agree with or condone either activity, he graduates as been a complete asshole.

Let’s just say that other chars are more expendable than cupful of slime.  

During deluded deception, there is some undeniably unpleasant imagery but these skies needed to be much darker to embarrass an eclipse.

I wonder what Patrick Kilpatrick would think of it all?  Unfortunately, Van Damme signed his Death Warrant in 1990.

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