Monday, 29 April 2013

If this isn't variety - you're considerably the greatest denier! Ud 03/05/13



The alarm goes off at daft o’clock and despite being weary eyed and half asleep, I struggle from my bed and silence the irritating noise pollution.

After splashing my face and throwing some clothes on, I head downstairs.

Even though cereal doesn't usually interest me, it takes little effort to make and is therefore necessary to line my stomach for what lies ahead.

The outside world is still enveloped in darkness and as the cold hits me like a sledgehammer, a harsh reality is realised that most sane people are still in a deep slumber.

I also observe that taxis are still ejecting revellers who hope to sleep as soon as their heads hit the pillow.

With the intermittent tweets and chirps of innocent flying objects reverberating in my ears, I complete the necessary preparation required for such a punishing routine.

As I eat up ground faster than a fleeing gazelle from a pursuing cheetah, the roads appear deserted and the atmosphere is unsurprisingly subdued.

Daylight endeavours to barge its way through and the real day begins.

For me, and for you.

Paul Weller feels the Sea Spray while Manic Street Preachers enjoy Ocean Spray.

So Tired and I’m So Tired are tracks by Veronica Falls and The Beatles respectively.

Once More, that’s all I need to get me and The Wedding Present through the day.

The local council commissioned the erection of a Monument, in recognition of Fossil Collective.

It was One of Those Summer Days so Rhye made themselves known at various locations.  

Oasis believed that tonight, they’d be a Rock ‘n’ Roll Star.  Mansun were doomed to be a Rock ‘n’ Roll Loser and Black Sabbath were treated by a Rock ‘n’ Roll Doctor.

It’s Not the Fall That Hurts, it’s the getting up.  Well, that’s what Caesers think of such a painful sensation.

Life of Pi is a 2012 film adaptation from the novel of the same name and Pi can be a song by The Orb or a 1998 film.

Traveler is a track by Screaming Trees and The Traveler is a 2010 Val Kilmer film.

The Clash heard London Calling and James felt Destiny Calling.

K.I.A. (Killed in Action) is a track by Jet and M.I.A. (Missing in Action) serves as a 1989 pseudo sequel to Green Beret.

Dark Skies is an okay 2013 sci-fi film and Dark Shines is a track by Muse.  Pioneer Skies is brought to by The Chemical Brothers.

The Dead Weather stands an incredible 60 Feet Tall. 

I will be Thinking of You when you've gone and Future of Forestry.

You better not upset British Sea Power because they are What You Need The Most and The Weekend is not who you know but What You Need.

Black Balloon are tracks by Goo Goo Dolls and The Kills with Black Balloons being a song from Local Natives.

Daft Punk were that good at snooker the other night, I wondered why its members hadn’t turned professional as they never missed a pot.  Eventually, a fifteenth black was missed on an otherwise certain 147 attempt so I guess they are Human After All.

Look At You, all done up like a dog’s dinner.  Sorry, I hope that didn’t insult Screaming Trees.

I will see you and Switchfoot in the Afterlife.

You’re gonna love this set...

54321 is a retro chocolate bar, 4.3.2.1 is a 2010 film, 1-2-3-4 is a track by The Enemy and 3-2-1 was a game show hosted by Ted Rogers with Dusty Bin been together the mascot and booby prize.

After a promising start, it appears that the Wheels have fallen off for Fink.

Like the Pixies, I take every situation Head On.

2, 3, Go and they’re off.  The Wedding Present have an unconventional way of starting a race...

‘Go Back to Old Kent Road’ is an irritating order which must be obeyed when landing on a Community Chest square in Monopoly.  The first two words of this card is a song by Public Image Ltd.

David Bowie is not the Boss of Me.  Not now, not ever.

The Wedding Present hosted a Swingers party and became overrun by horny upstarts of various ages.

Flesh & Blood is the subtitle for Saw II the video game and Flesh and Bone is a track by The Killers.

Dead Island Riptide will hopefully rectify the issues of the original and Ripcord is a very early Radiohead song from debut album Pablo Honey.

The World is Yours is the subtitle for Scarface the video game and also a track by Glasvegas.

I’m not one to preach advice but you’d better Tighten Up that seat belt as The Black Keys offer an unforgettable driving experience.

I can see from the Tell Tale Signs that you have been listening to Frank Turner.

The Mother and Mother are both different types of films.

Troubled Times is a song by Screaming Trees and album from Cast.

Tenement Kid and Tenement Funster are tracks by Primal Scream and Queen respectively. Tenement Symphony is an album from Marc Almond.

Anonymous is a 2011 film and The Anonymous is a track by Son, Ambulance.

Metz is a band and a discontinued Schnapps-based drink that I used to really like.  In a noisy bar and/or nightclub, I found it really annoying that I was sometimes given a bottle of Becks...

The Last Time I Saw Joe was at a Dark Dark Dark concert.

Heavy Feet and Happy Feet is a track from Local Natives and an animated feature respectively.

Good Old War compels all who participate to make Loud Love.

Like A Sunny Day in Glasgow, I enjoyed living abroad but had to come back because it was obvious that I Missed my Friends.

Please don’t offended when Supergrass are found to be Pumping on your Stereo.  It does pong somewhat though.

Fancy coming back to my Lovenest?  To add extra spice, I promise that The Wedding Present will be there.

Bloom is a great album from Beach House and track by Radiohead.  In Bloom is a memorable track from Nirvana.

This is A Warning to the Curious, it is not advisable to push The Coral into spilling their secret as it's more terrible than you could ever imagine.

High Cool and Stay Cool is a song by Blur and film respectively.

It appears that Chapel Club has sunk to new and unexplored Depths.

Echo Lake is an album by Woods and Eden Lake is a film that can’t fail to shock.

Listening to Wire and The Boxer Rebellion always leaves me feeling a tad Fragile.

Three Months damn it, that’s how long it took for a Local Natives album to be delivered from the internet.

Atoms for Peace didn't take too kindly to learning that they will be Dropped from their record label.

If You Still Want Me, you know where Veronica Falls can find me…

Mogwai made me Drunk and Crazy (again).

I wonder why Great Lake Swimmers feel the need to really twist The Knife in?  I guess it's just their way.

Salt is a 2010 Angelina Jolie action film and S.A.L.T. is a track by The Orb.

Combat Rock, Mirage Rock and Shaka Rock are albums by The Clash, Band of Horses and Jet respectively.  Robot Rock is a track from Daft Punk and Chuck Rock was a comedic 1991 platform game which was first born on the Amiga and Atari ST.

The Rolling Stones say you should Hide your Love but The Beatles believe that You've Got To Hide Your Love Away.

If you don’t Stop Taking Photographs of I am Kloot, they’ll have you arrested before you can blink.

Coney Island and Coney Island Baby are tracks by Good Old War and Lou Reed respectively.

Cream decorated a White Room and White Noise is a 2005 Michael Keaton thriller and track by Gaz Coombes Presents.

Have you ever felt that things have Gone Too Far, or maybe you've just about Had It with somebody or possibly, you're just Fed Up with the entire situation?

It is a good idea to relate each of these frustrations to Soulsavers, Black Flag and The Lemonheads...

What Are You is a song by David Gray and Who You Are is an album by Jessie J.  Who Are You is both an album from The Who and track by Ty Segall and Jackie Chan’s Who Am I? is a 1998 action film.

Sometime, somewhere and at some point, Young Guns warn that Everything Ends.

Red better find a good place to Hide because I’m coming to find them.

It’s better In the Long Run if you just give The Staves a go.

I know It’s Natural To Be Afraid of Explosions in the Sky but I promise, there’s nothing to worry about.

In the Cold, Cold Night I feel somehow warmed by The White Stripes.

When You Want Something You Can’t Have and You Can’t Always Get What You Want are tracks by Courteeners and The Rolling Stones respectively.

It had to happen sooner or later but Mogwai have been finally pushed over The Precipice.

When the correct moment is felt, The Wedding Present insists Don’t Talk, Just Kiss.

Admiral Fallow doesn't blame you for your behaviour as it’s just The Way You Were Raised.

Hold On a minute, what happened to David Gray?  No, neither do I.

Magic Bullet and Magic Pie are songs from Wire and Oasis respectively.

Wild Nothing have become a Shadow of their former selves.

After thinking about it for some time, I couldn't think what I was supposed to do next.  I was getting really frustrated but suddenly Wilco came along and it suddenly Dawned On Me...

You Should Learn how to treat the music industry with respect.  If you are in any doubt, just look to We Are Scientists for inspiration.

Dodgy are glad to see the Back of You.

How to Dress Well were involved in another titanic Struggle.

I extend my Deepest sympathy to what tragedy Deptford Goth may experience.

Something Inside of Me compels me to be drawn to The Coral.

The Jayhawks are barely visible in any kind of weather but for whatever reason, they seem to Stand Out in The Rain.

I never go anywhere without the Courteeners and my mother’s Cameo Brooch.

British Sea Power called me a K Hole.  Well absolutely charming and the same to them with bells on.  Lost in the K Hole is associated with The Chemical Brothers.

It’s a Natural Reaction to eventually warm to Gomez.

Onyx is a mineral, Oryx is a song by The Knife and Olrox is a boss from the still brilliant Castlevania: Symphony of the Night.

Blue Jean is a track by David Bowie and Blue Jeans are songs by Lana Del Ray and Blur.

I have much to tell and much subject matter for Supergrass to digest.  It’s therefore convenient that there’s Coffee in the Pot.

Recoil and Recoiled are tracks by Magazine and Flying Lotus respectively.

Last Tango in Paris is a 1972 Marlon Brando film and Let’s Tango in Paris is a track by The Stranglers.

The Phoenix Foundation went on a diet so extreme, I could see their Skeleton.

I’m telling you all now that if School of Seven Bells doesn't begin to Show me Love, then our little affair is over.

When I heard the news of a new album from Iron & Wine, I experienced elation, excitement, ecstasy and most of all, Joy.

After having a blazing row, Suede built many Barriers to deny me access.

Despite obvious Reservations, I was pleasantly surprised to see Wilco.

Two Tribes and Two Nations are tracks by Frankie Goes to Hollywood and The Streets respectively.

Foals observed 2 Trees and The Enemy looked after 2 Kids. 

I asked Hurts to pass me The Rope but Rocket From a Crypt were caught On a Rope.

Caesers have some Spirit and Soulsavers enjoy a Spiritual moment.

If there is any Suggestion that Fugazi aren't connected with music, give your head a shake.

Thank heavens for Deep Purple as without borrowing their Silver Tongue, I would have never made that sale.

It took me years to scrape Local Natives off numerous Ceilings.

Something are songs by Nelly Furtado and The Beatles.  This song title is also an album by Chairlift.

I was caught Chasing Ghosts with Alcohol which sounds like a normal night out on the town with Gomez.  Don’t Take Me Home Until I’m Drunk is the favour that I demanded of The Wedding Present.

Football Fury and Fatal Fury is a solitary video game and famous SNK franchise respectively.  At time of writing, Cuban Fury is an upcoming Nick Frost film.

You just don’t get it do you?  We’re in bed now, joined at the hip, knee deep in shit and Partners in Crime.  I was just explaining to The Strokes that after crossing over, there’s no crossing back.

I don’t need Low because I will make it On My Own.

Imagine That and Analyse That are both unrelated films with the latter being the sequel to Analyse This.

If you want to listen to Semi Sonic just do it already.  After all, Who’s Stopping You?

The Rolling Stones are 2000 Light Years from Home and Space are 20 Million Miles from Earth.

Graveyard are crossing a very Thin Line and Aqualung have vanished into Thin Air.

The Great Gig in the Sky and The Great Beautician in the Sky are tracks by Pink Floyd and Magazine respectively.

Apart from being associated with Latin, most will know Status Quo to be a famous rock band.  Veridis Quo is a track by Daft Punk.

3 Days and 7 Days is a track by Rhye and a hard-hitting 2010 revenge thriller respectively.  The latter was remade by America as The Tortured in the same year.

The Big Lebowski, The Big Easy and The Big Country succeed in different ways as films.

Sucker Punch is a crazy 2011 action film and a track by Jonathan ‘Still Alive’ Coulton.  Mark Knopfler took a seat in Sucker Row.

The wait is over as Gaz Coombes Presents is about to finally Break the Silence.

Pin Up is a song by The Stranglers and Pin Ups is a David Bowie ‘cover’ album featuring numbers from The Who, Kinks and Pink Floyd.

2012 is a so-so disaster film and tracks by Nemesea and Chris Brown.  2013 is a track from Primal Scream.

After suffering a bump on the head, it appears that Explosions in the Sky were to blame as they took me back to my Last Known Surroundings.

Liquid Jesus is a track by Wet Hair and Liquid Skin is the second album from Gomez.

If given the choice, The Lemonheads would remain permanently miserable but much to their displeasure, they are Paid to Smile.

When was the last time anybody said I’m the Sunshine of your Love?  The chances are against it but listen to Cream, and then you’ll understand.

I gave you all a very generous dollop of films, so now I'm flipping this burger over to give you pixels and the same rule applies...

Oh yummy, the meat is thoroughly cooked and ready to be served.

Defcon 5 - 1995
Stellar 7 - 1983
Nam 1975 - 1990
Police 911 - 2000
Dunamis 15 - 2011
Earth 2140 - 1997
Roadwar 2000 - 1986
Colony 7 - 1981
Wipeout 2097 - 1996
Section 8 - 2009
Germany 1985 - 1983
Area 51 - 1995 and 2005
Metro 2033 - 2010
Darwin 4078 - 1986
Alien 8 - 1985
Phantom 2040 - 1995
Falklands 82 - 1985
War 2410 - 1995
Fahrenheit 451 - 1986
Ciphoid 9 - 1985
Ace 2088 - 1988
Sigma 7 - 1986
Killer 7 - 2005
Resolution 101 - 1990
Zero 5 - 1997
Wendetta 2175 - 1996

Of course there are loads more but I've stayed away from film adaptations, sequels, yearly updates or some other irritating gimmick.

For instance, Tempest 2000, Gunship 2000, Space Invaders 2000, Dune 2000 or Sydney 2000 could have featured...

Years before Nintendo used the gimmick of Super and 64 to precede and follow most game titles for the SNES and Nintendo 64 respectively.  Commodore and their C64 thought of this first, using the amount of K instead of bits.  Scramble 64, Cricket 64 and Frogger 64 are good examples.


There are even loads of 'Super' examples but is obviously nothing to do the system's name.

Look at Earth 2140 and War 2410 and what can you see?  A bit of number swapping will make it obvious...

I will always respect and appreciate How to Dress Well because When I Was in Trouble, they were there to help.

Xo is a track by The Weekend and XO is an album by Elliott Smith.

There’s a gig by Space held at the local club tonight.  I would suggest that you should Be There or be square.  Incidentally, that’s what part of the poster said advertising The Enchantment Under the Sea dance in time-travelling classic Back to the Future...

Empty Cans bring such an unwelcome weight and only by opening another will quench the thirst of The Streets.

Privateering is an album and song from Mark Knopfler and Electioneering is definitely the weakest track from the otherwise brilliant and highly lauded OK Computer by Radiohead.

American Mary is a 2012 horror film and track by The National.  Black Flag are keen to dispense of American Waste.

The Second I Awake, I expect Screaming Trees to greet me with breakfast in bed.

Suede may be Trash but Sonic Youth are Total Trash.

The Difference Between Us is that I can tolerate The Dead Weather and you can’t.

E-Motion was a 1990 video game and Emotion is a track by Daft Punk

If you’re going to plan a heist, be sure that you hire Grouplove as they have a very reliable and nippy Getaway car at their disposal.

The Hunt and In The Hunt is a track by Youth Lagoon and 1993 Irem shmup respectively.

Atoms for Peace inadvertently became Judge Jury and Executioner.

Anberlin can apply A Perfect Tourniquet while Headswim and Evanescence only carry a Tourniquet for emergencies.

Red will be the Death of Me and Noel Gallagher will surely be, The Death of You and Me.

Reign of Terror is an album by Sleigh Bells and Reign of Fire is a 2002 film.

Muse can only be enjoyed when in a Sober state of mind and you must be Drunk if Ed Sheeran is blaring out.

Field Music had to settle into A New Town and New in Town is a forgettable 2009 Renee Zellweger rom-com.

B*Witched is a girly pop band and Bewitched is best enjoyed by The Wedding Present.

White Knight Position is a track by Chapel Club and White Knight Chronicles is a fantasy RPG franchise that first began in 2008.

I needed identification to enter a Cream concert so after flashing my Badge, the rest is history.

If they carry on like they do, Black Flag are going to have a Nervous Breakdown.  The Rolling Stones managed to recover from having their 19th Nervous Breakdown.

Catacomb and Catacombs is a track by Stereophonics and 2007 horror respectively.

I spoke to The Operator who handle all musical requests and The Coral was picked out of the hat.

Here is wisdom, We Go Together or not all, as quoted by The Leisure Society.

As the lecture drags, what feels like the Longest Day will be enjoyed in the company of Soulsavers.

Wire must be the only band out there to boast 40 Versions of the same song.

Until they met me, Mansun’s dreams were Slipping Away.

Gold on the Shore and Gold on the Ceiling are tracks by Ty Segall and The Black Keys respectively.

When my Midlake CD started to skip more than an eager school girl, I decided that it deserved a decent send off so I buried it In the Ground.

Grapevine Fires is a track by Death Cab for Cutie and Slipway Fires is an album from Razorlight.

I met with The Black Keys the other day and bought a gun.  Not wanting to draw attention to myself and risk jeopardising any future business, I waited until I got home to give it a shot.

After a few failed attempts, I quickly discovered that this hunk of junk wouldn't fire, no matter what bullet was used in the chamber.  I guess that’s what you get for buying a Ten Cent Pistol.

A change in career for The Stokes in UFC proved short-lived as they were always forced to Tap Out.

Lost in Translation is a great 2003 film starring Bill Murray and the lovely Scarlet Johannson, Lost in Space and Gary Oldman fared okay in the 1998 film and Rainbow became Lost in Hollywood.

When I next see Gomez, I’m going to break them up into Little Pieces.

17 are songs by Kings of Leon, Smashing Pumpkins, Youth Lagoon and Perfume Genius.  Seventeen is brought to you by The Sex Pistols and Jet.

If Mogwai doesn't keep it down, I’ll get the Local Authority to do it for me.

Valkyrie is a 2008 Tom Cruise film and Valkyrie Profile is a role-playing franchise.

I’m sure that like others I could suffer Great Lake Swimmers and everything associated, Long Into the Evening.

We Can Never Be Friends because The Streets will only drive a wedge between us.

It’s a Shame About Ray and Worried About Ray is an album by The Lemonheads and a track by The Hoosiers respectively.

Wire has been banned from competing in every darts tournament as they frequently hit Doubles & Trebles.

Cyndonia is an album by The Orb and Knights of Cyndonia is a song by Muse.

It was a beautiful moment when Veronica Falls witnessed a Shooting Star and Portishead followed a Wandering Star.

The White Stripes will Take, Take, Take but seem very coy to give, give, give.

Death Cab for Cutie will only travel in the Passenger Seat and Wilco will only enter a vehicle from the Passenger Side.

Don’t just stand there as She’s Having a Baby.  For the love of... will somebody please either ring an ambulance of play The Knife?

Atoms for Peace were again to be running Amok.

Crocodiles and Alligator are albums by Echo & the Bunnymen and The National respectively.  To settle up, Crocodiles is also a very good band.

Blood Simple is a 1984 film and Blood White is a song from A Sunny Day in Glasgow.

Fink thought it was important to get one Foot in the Door rather than two.

Getting lost in unfamiliar surroundings can invoke panic, especially without the use of transportation of directional aid.  However, Screaming Trees are never concerned as they simply follow the Direction of the Sun to find their way back to civilisation.

For those couples who seek an amorous moment, try Sex in C Minor, as Son, Ambulance often do.

After bearing a grudge for so long, I wonder if Fossil Collective will ever Let It Go?

Zombie should be a famous track by The Cranberries and Space chose to feast and walk with Zombies.

Discounting the appalling 2006 Nicolas Cage remake, The Wicker Man is a cult 1973 horror starring the late Edward ‘The Equalizer’ Woodward.  Wickerman is a track from Pulp.

Galaxy Fight is an okay Neo Geo game and Galaxy Bounce is a track by The Chemical Brothers.

As long as you have No Expectations and Low Expectations, you will never be disappointed by anything that Soulsavers and Calexico bring. 

Inspiral Carpets helped me remove the Monkey on my Back and I Lost the Monkey but found The Wedding Present.  

Lollipop Opera and Lollypop Chainsaw is a track by Public Image Ltd and 2012 video game respectively.

Puffing and panting, another assignment draws to a comfortable close.

After a battery recharge, horns will be locked more than a pair of warring stags vying for the affection of an impatient female.

Until innovation rides again...

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