Friday, 9 June 2017

Wonder Woman - The scoop and digest

Following her first live-action theatrical appearance in the disappointing Dawn of Justice, the fourth in DCEU has immortal princess run the show.

Can Patty Jenkins right previous wrongs?

Gal Gadot - Diana
Chris Pine - Steve Trevor
David Thewlis - Sir Patrick Morgan
Danny Huston - General Ludendorff
Ewen Bremner - Charlie

In present day Paris, Diana Prince receives a WWI-era photo from Bruce Wayne and lady pants recalls her past.

A long time ago on an island far, far away....

Titular character was born and raised on Themyscira, home of the Amazons.

Story goes race of female warriors were created by the gods to spread the love and protect humankind from little tinker Ares, the god of war.

Before his death, Zeus left behind ceremonial sword 'Godkiller', the only weapon capable of killing Ares.

Against mother Queen Hippolyta's wishes, Diana is trained by sister Antiope.

Diana had no father.  She was sculpted from clay and brought to life by Zeus.

Claymation?

British spy Steve crashes plane and Diana rescues dashing stranger from a watery grave.

No time for the getting to know you shit, as German soldiers attack.

Antiope bids farewell during battle and Lasso of Truth forces Steve to reveal he stole one of Doctor Maru's notebooks.

Under General Ludendorff, insane German scientist (aka Doctor Poison), is researching how to create an uber form of mustard gas.

Convinced Ludendorff is Ares, she leaves with Steve to seek and destroy.

At some point, General inhales a sample of Maru's chemistry set which makes him physically stronger.

Notebook is delivered to Steve's superiors in London, which includes Sir Patrick, who is spearheading Armistice with Germany.

Steve meets with his motley crew at drinking pit who agree to help.

Diana storms No Man's Land and in celebration, group pose for selfie which explains how photograph from beginning came into being.

As snow falls outside café, romance blossoms between Diana and Steve.

Everybody go awwww.

Ludendorff gasses a village and brutality enrages Diana.

After a brief scuffle, heroine is confused why war still rages on even though 'Ares' is dead.

Drum roll please.

Ares is actually Sir Patrick.

Whoah!

His presence influenced mankind's desire for violence.

Sword is destroyed, and as Diana and Ares lock godly horns, Steve steals a plane and sacrifices himself by detonating gas supply.

Selfless gesture inspires her to break free and kill baddie.

Back in England's capital, all and sundry celebrate the end of the war.

She sends Bruce a thank you email and embraces her role as Wonder Woman.

Girl'ish' power

Definitely the pick of a fairly rotten bunch.

Leads are impressive and how relationship develops is interesting rather than sickening.

Emotional story doesn't get bogged down with complexity, humour is delicately balanced, nods towards comics New 52 are cute and setting effortlessly captures time period.

Despite pros, there's more cons than a prison.

Action plays out nicely in close quarters, but CG looks largely fake.

It drags on for far too long and inevitably gets boring.

We all knew Danny Huston's character wouldn't be end boss, so what's the fucking point?

Film becomes Marvel when Ares floats about like Magneto.

Jesus Christ!

If that wasn't bad enough, end fight is the usual shower of explosive chaos.

Diana's wrist bands disappear and reappear throughout without explanation.

(Frowns).

Towards the end, Diana goes undercover inside Ludendorff's swanky gala and nobody notices sword 'hidden' in the back of dress.

HA HA HA!

Justice League hits cinemas in November.

One for our diaries?

Maybe.

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