16 bits, 2 bytes - Thirteenth Event

The Addams Family, Ocean 1991

Rather appropriately, we’re immediately assaulted with an accurate instrumental of Vic Mizzy's classic theme.

Lyrics beyond system?

Maybe.

Family has been kidnapped, so Gomez rolls up rescuing sleeves.

So platform romp has fuck all to do with big screen outing.

Instead, Jet Set Willy meets Mario is somewhere close.

Hall of Stairs acts as hub area (against irresistible hummable music), with doors leading to main stages.

Jumping on heads kills enemies.

Quick guys.  Get me a chair to collapse on, as I can’t handle the originality.

The Addams’ mansion is reasonably large, and visiting graveyard, conservatory, library, kitchen and games room is obligatory.

Boss battles against witch, goblin and dragon etc pose little challenge.

Defeating whatever rescues family member and gives password.

With everybody except Morticia safely stored in music room, final stage opens up where ‘Nasty Judge’ awaits.

Cutsey graphics, charming themes and decent gameplay ensures it’s not bad, just very generic.

Same principle appeared on Amiga, Mega Drive and various handhelds.

PC Engine CD game of same name was a different kettle of fish.

Tully Alford is tasked to loot vault, so this immediately has more in common with film.

Redesigned pad is not split into areas and maze is one huge adventure.

If all kinds of weird shit coming from all angles wasn’t enough, Addams' lawyer must also deal with kooky clients, drafted in as unofficial bosses.

The Addams Family: Pugsley’s Scavenger Hunt, Ocean 1993

Unlike former, kinda sequel only appeared on Nintendo platforms.

NES and Game Boy versions are cut down ports of first game, with Pugsley instead of Gomez fighting completely different bosses (apart from final farce).

Anyway, feature presentation is based on the 1992 Hanna Barbera series, not to be confused with 1973 animated sitcom of same name.

Wednesday challenges brother to recover six items and ‘much doom awaits’.

Cos’ I know you care.

Octopus ink, mouldy cheese, dragon’s fire, spider venom, normal underwear and magician’s gloves.

Rooms aren’t named, but idea is same principle, as rather than relation, defeating cheesy boss gives item.

Hub room is made unnecessarily dangerous because of some unseen asshole dropping an endless supply of sacks.

Backgrounds are set to repeat, but are gorgeously coloured, and layered with generous parallax.

Expect to visit Fester’s Lab, basement, bathroom and icebox, which feature an assortment of disposable, if impressively animated enemies.

With no password system, quest must be completed in one sitting.

Wicked bastards.

Addams Family Values, Ocean 1994

Also on Mega Drive, top-down arcade adventure, loosely based on 1993 film sequel, is clearly modelled on The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening.

Fester must rescue baby Pubert from serial killing gold digger Debbie Jellinsky, aka the Black Widow.

In reality, after seducing Fester, nanny is focused on killing eccentric baldie.

16 megs gives protagonist a large playing area to explore, such as forest, garden, desert, swamp, fire and ice.

Oh, areas also have dungeons, littered with hazards, enemies, switches and teleport pads.

Food and drink gameplay involves chatting to family members, collecting items, receiving clues and fighting bosses.

Weather effects of snow and rain applies gloss to a fine looking animal.

Although other weapons are available, Fester’s lightning finger more than suffices.

Backtracking gets extremely tedious, but visiting Cousin Itt gives passwords.

Hip hip fucking hooray.

Not wanting to get hands dirty, cowardly bitch sets pets on you.

Tame those, and Debs plunges to her death down a hole.

She was electrocuted in film.

For anybody who's interested, splendid looking Lucasfilm style graphic adventure The New Addams Family (adapted from late 90s TV series of same name) came to Game Boy Color in 2001.

Gods, The Bitmap Brothers 1992

Anybody who owned an Amiga, had this game.

Disagree?

You've got some balls.

‘Run and gun em up’ is pretty ordinary at heart, but nevertheless, the City of Legends has more appeal than your average orange.

Hercules type warrior must slay four great Guardians and take Citadel back.

Throughout each section happy stage, flipping levers and switches open up other rooms, so expect to go back and forth.

Basic inventory system has slots to carry keys, relics and parts.

After defeating boss, power ups, health and weapons can be bought from shopkeeper, a la Xenon 2: Megablast.

Or if you can’t wait that long, finding shop potions summons seller.

Password system remains, but taking damage from falling is fucking annoying.

Graphics appear to use fewer colours than original, but plays much faster.

As a consequence, ups difficulty.

Swings and roundabouts guys.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles IV: Turtles in Time, Konami 1992

Considering 1991 arcade's title didn't have a 'numeral', why is this fourth game?

Although completely unrelated to NES exlusive TMNT III: The Manhattan Project, they continued numbering system to maintain consistency. 

Makes sense I suppose.

Don't forget, port of 1989 arcade was called TMNT II: The Arcade Game (called TMNT: The Arcade Game for home computers).

Before we all suffer from shell shock.

Kick ass conversion was not without compromises.

No ‘Pizza Power’ song;

Muffled speech;

Choppy animation; and

2P only.

As with most Konami ports, some stages, enemies and bosses have been chopped and changed.

For instance, we get a brand new Technodrome level.

Music is superb and action hardly ever slows down.

Unfortunately, even on top difficulty, it's a piece of piss to complete.

As for pseudo one-on-one fighting mode, watching paint dry excites more.

Featuring out of place (and even goofy) 3D visuals, original arcade was Re-Shelled for Xbox Live in 2009.

Essentially taking elements from both arcades, SNES port (less time travel) and with new stages thrown in for good measure, Mega Drive owners could enjoy The Hyperstone Heist (Return of the Shredder in Japan).

For a visual comparison, I demand you give link a click.

http://nukesandknives.blogspot.co.uk/2013/09/turtles-in-time-and-hyperstone-heist.html

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Tournament Fighters, Konami 1993

With Street Fighter fever still white hot, Konami did their best to turn heads away from Ryu and co.

Character roster mixes the famous with animation, comics (and related media).

Leo, Raph, Mikey, Donnie, Armaggon (cyborg shark), Wingnut (Batman parody), Chrome Dome (robot), War (clawed monster), Shredder and original character - ninja babe Aska.

Bosses are Rat King and ultra cheap bitch Karai.

Tournament is your bread and butter arcade mode, with entrants battling for cash.

Taking a leaf out of SF II Turbo, speed can be adjusted.

Mutagen gauge builds in the usual way and once full, nuke is unleashed by simply pushing two strong buttons.

Story mode is the same kind of thing, just dressed differently.

Whichever turtle travels to various locations, collects information from the defeated and eventually rescues April and Splinter from Karai.

Fairly bizarrely, nukes cannot be performed.

Mega Drive and NES versions had different line-ups, modes and stories.

Super Metroid, Nintendo 1994

This really should have been called Metroid 3, but such is Super gimmick…

Planet Zebes is at peace because last Metroid is in captivity.

Timeline recap.

Metroid (NES) – Space pirate leader Mother Brain was defeated.

Metroid II: Return of Samus (Game Boy) – Metroids defeated on their home planet SR388 and larva captured.

And now.

Samus personally delivered larva to galactic research station on Ceres, so scientists could study its energy producing qualities.

They discovered powers can be harnessed for the good of civilization.

Shortly after, Samus picks up a distress signal indicating Ceres is under attack.

No rest for the wicked.

Central core is much the same, but there’s a lot more to sink teeth into.

Symphony of the Night famously invented ‘Metroidvania’, and primarily had this baby to thank.

Missiles and bombs wipe out alien threat, and the ability to roll and squeeze through narrow spaces allows suit to conquer caves, fire and vegetation.

I adore Turrican, but cannot help feel Manfred Trenz stole elements.

(Ahem).

Getting to specific location on map allows suit to save progress and bosses standing in your way include alien beast, terrordaktyl and vicious plant.

Mother Brain attaches itself to T-Rex type creature and we're given 3 minutes to get the fuck out of there.

With hi-tech graphics, atmospheric music and dreamy gameplay, this is still one of the best games ever made.

Tuff E Nuff, Jaleco 1993

Released during, but not part of Rushing Beat series, this is one of the better Street Fighter wannabes.

After war broke out leaving only the strong, the undefeated Jade (and self-proclaimed Fighting King) calls a tournament, with champions of four states chosen to challenge cocky bastard in great tower.

Enter Syoh, Zazi, Kotono and Vortz.

In Story mode, a variety of CPU only opponents are fought across a post-apocalyptic wasteland, before inevitable final showdown.

Talk about taking the Fist of the North Star.

Even characters rip off ultra violent anime.

Fairly uniquely, specials evolve over time, but don’t really dish out extra damage.

And the fucking point is?

Fights can be replayed and depending on difficulty, introduces password system.

Inputting necessary code unlocks Dolf, Beans et al for use in VS CPU mode and 1P vs 2P, but cannot be used in Story mode.

North American and European versions differed significantly to Japanese version Dead Dance.

Faces no longer get bloody, but more notoriously, in-game dialogue and proper endings are replaced with generic congratulations screens.

WHY?

Oddly, superior game removed replays and passwords.

Super Bomberman, Hudson 1993

From NES to Saturn, to PS1 and even Neo Geo, franchise bombed practically everywhere.

SF II was system’s first 16 meg outing.  Welcome to console’s first multitap outing, also giving licence for 4P mayhem.

Normal game is max 2P, and even if hidden exit is discovered early, only becomes active once all enemies are destroyed.

Power-ups include being able to drop multiple bombs, detonate at will (rather within set time limit) and increasing fire trail.

Hell, we can even boot bombs.

At world's end, boss must be tamed, including clown face, robot and the Dastardly Bombers.

Super Bomberman 2, Hudson 1994

Only entry restricted to 1P in normal mode may have something to do with scrolling mazes.

Focus switches to the Dastardly Bombers’ revenge, with additional bosses dubbed Bomber Kings.

Visuals are noticeably prettier than before and despite omission of co-op play, this is still explosive entertainment.

Super Bomberman 3, Hudson 1995

Remix of Bomberman 94 was only released in Japan and Europe.

Anybody familiar with PCE game will know about villain Bagular, and here, revives the 5 Evil Bombers.

Co-op play makes a welcome return, (5P in battle), and we’re back to single screen mazes, although some have extra beef packed on top.

Visuals and audio are more prehistoric than predecessor and PAL frame rate lags behind Japanese counterpart.

Super Bomberman 4, Hudson 1996

First of two Super Famicom exclusives has heroes stop Bagular’s brain causing mischief.

You see, grey matter escaped from a UFO at some point after previous game.

We have more characters (or colours) to choose from, but main difference is when defeated, certain enemies turn into eggs; and when got - creatures such as dinosaurs and fish can be rode.

Once freed, CPU controlled buddies help destroy blocks.

As well as world boss, we must also deal with the four Bomber Kings and Great Bomber.

Some may think this to be fairly redundant, but some modes in Battle can be customised.

Super Bomberman 5, Hudson 1997

Final effort has new evil Bomber Emperor Terrorin (possessing power of Time itself), releasing criminal Bombers in orbit around Planet Bomber.

Single player is non-linear, giving open playing field.

Although having remixed music, first four phases are based on previous outings with recycled sprites.

But hold the fuse, fifth is entirely new.

If path chosen reaches 100 per cent, map is reset and expanded up to 200 per cent.

Bombervania anyone?

(Laughs).

Multi-player features exclusive create-a-character mode, with points system used to equip power-up items from 1P game.

Art of Fighting, Takara 1993

Huge sprites and facial injuries set it apart, but Fatal Fury prequel requiring spirit gauge to be filled before specials and hidden supers could be unleashed divided opinion.

I partially agree.

Every character, background and bonus stage arrived safely, and screen kinda scaled to make sprites slightly bigger.

Graphics are extremely basic, faces no longer bruise, there's hardly any speech and effects lack balls.

Music is decent, which is more that can be said about gameplay.

Animation is terrible, characters are incredibly stiff and collision detection is dreadful.

Extended ending leading up to events of sequel was cool though.

Japanese version was uncut, but censorship in North America and Europe was pathetic.

Mac’s Bar was changed to Mac’s Café and similarly, China Town became Lee’s Town.

Since when the fuck was China Town offensive?

When hit by special or super, King’s bra only gets slightly exposed and No Smoking sign in Todo’s stage was removed.

Let’s just say Mega Drive version was more laid back.

Despite peculiar colour scheme, Hudson’s PC Engine CD port (also requiring Arcade Card), boasted every speech sample and more impressive scaling effect.

Art of Fighting 2, Saurus 1994

As this was only available in Japan, Ryuuko no Ken 2 if you will.

All 12 characters are playable and scaling effect remained.

Music is a mixed bag, limited speech samples echo and sparse backgrounds look unfinished.

But importantly, plays much better than predecessor.

We still get to fight Geese, who’s selectable via a code in 2P, but not in arcade mode.

Considering Neo Geo game counted 178 megs, port is pretty remarkable.

Strike Gunner S.T.G, Athena 1992

Poor man’s Raiden has its moments.

Before each stage (dubbed operation), pilots Jane and Mark choose a weapon to aid cause, but once selected, can’t be reused again.

Good job there’s 15 of them then.

Using improved firepower drains respective energy bar, but can be refilled on collecting a power up.

Sprites are nice enough, bosses are huge (ranging from battleships, aircraft carriers, tanks etc) and 2P gameplay is fast-paced.

Doesn’t sound half bad does it?

But…

Spectacularly drab backgrounds are racist against variety and putrid colour scheme induces nausea.

Worst of all though is fucking music.

Once you've heard lifeless themes loop once, I guarantee you'll be psychologically scarred.

Bubble Bobble this definitely ain’t.

Primal Rage, Bitmasters 1995

This may have monsters and dinosaurs, but I accuse Atari of raping Taito’s Dino Rex.

Arcade was revised and re-released several times to iron out bugs and later incarnations gave machine operator choice to disable gore.

Eating humans claimed energy back, but doing the same to worshippers had the opposite effect.

Finishing moves are even more convoluted than Mortal Kombat, as we must hold buttons and struggle with unnecessary D-pad motions.

As for port, blood was vastly toned down, but apart from Chaos’s Golden Shower (amusingly censored with ‘No Entry’ sign), every other remained.

Tiny sprites are poorly animated, backgrounds lack detail, ending screens were omitted and like insert coin, played awkwardly.

Clock Tower, Human 1995

Heavily inspired by Dario Argento’s Phenomena, orphan girl Jennifer and friends arrive at their new adoptive mother’s home Mary.

Fan translations exist, but freaky psychological horror was never released outside of Japan.

Unlike your average RPG though, it’s playable with perseverance.

After mansion soon becomes deserted, Jen searches for answers.

Gameplay is cursor driven, and interacting with background often triggers animated screens.

Hearing nothing more than the sound of your own footsteps adds to eerie atmosphere.

So what makes mansion so dangerous?

One big pair of fucking scissors, wielded by the psychopathic Bobby.

Encountering Scissorman instigates Panic Mode, and although Jen can fight back, best advice is just leg it.

Interesting fact.

Villain was inspired by Cropsy in cult 1981 slasher The Burning.

It turns out that Bobby is Mary’s 9 year old son and mother's other son Dan is a deformed freak.

Just your normal family then.

Subtle gore, great visuals, disturbing imagery (bleeding paintings and possessed dolls), and knowing that Bobby could appear at any moment successfully delivers an unsettling experience.

Decisions made during gameplay dictates sequences, situations, climax and endings, ensuring lots of replay value.

Fate of Mary, Bobby, friends and even Jennifer herself is in your trembling hands.

Series soon wallowed in confusion.

Remake and/or sequel of sorts was released for PS1 in 1996, and because Europe and North America called it Clock Tower, second entry is understandably confused as the first.

In Japan, it was Clock Tower 2.

(Frowns).

Clock Tower: The First Fear was a port of Super Fammy original and released for PS1 (1997) and Wonderswan (1999).

PS1 spin-off Clock Tower: Ghost Head was called Clock Tower II: The Struggle Within in North America, and never graced European shores.

Jointly developed by Sunsoft and Capcom, Clock Tower III on PS2 ditched point-and-click gameplay and put player in complete control of a different Alyssa (not the one from Ghost Head), who travels back in time to fight serial killers (dubbed Subordinates) with longbow.

If hit by Surbordinate in Panic mode, schoolgirl will die instantly.

Wrapping things up, Haunting Ground (Demento in Japan) and NightCry (crowdfunded by Kickstarter), are considered spiritual successors.

Phew.

The Death and Return of Superman, Blizzard 1994

Encompassing crossover comic The Death of Superman, scrolling brawler entertains.

All is not well in Metropolis, as Underworlders cause power cut and celebrate takeover.

This looks like a job for…

Supes smashes his way through horde of armed and unarmed freaks, and like Batman Returns, we can throw enemies into and break background.

Doomsday shows up and after boss fight, Superman dies.

Zack Snyder’s Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice adapted story arc Doomsday!

God! That film was fucking boring.

Sightings are reported of:

Cyborg (Half man, half machine –Superman rebuilt), the Eradicator (visored alien regenerated in the Fortress of Solitude), Superboy (created in genetic tubes of Cadmus Project and Superman's teen clone) and Man of Steel (aka John Henry Irons, former Special Weapons Designer of Westin Technologies).

Impostors have different attacks and scrolling shmup sections probably took inspiration from 1988 Taito arcade.

The real Supes is revived by Eradicator at Fortress of Solitude and dons new black suit.

Along with the help of Superboy, a missile heading for Metropolis is destroyed, and Cyborg awaits as end boss.

Mega Drive is same thing, but IMHO, sounded better.