Taken 2 - The scoop and digest

Remember this cool slogan from a certain film in 2008?

They have taken his daughter.

He will hunt them.

He will find them.

And he will kill them.

Director Pierre Morel had retired CIA agent Liam Neeson becoming the stuff of any kidnappers’ nightmare.

It was full of bone-crunching violence and well staged fight scenes.

The end fight on a boat was brief, but admirable.

It was rated 15 cert for cinema release and reclassified as an 18 for home perusal due to an extended harder cut.

Why is that important?  Read on.

Four years pass and we travel to Turkey.

This time, Olivier Megaton takes a strangle hold on the sequel and switches location from Paris to Istanbul.

The basic gist is that the father of one of the kidnappers from the original movie seeks revenge.

Suffice to say, the Albanians are really pissed at Bryan and his fondness for electrocution.

Liam Neeson, Maggie Grace and Famke Janssen all reprise their roles as retired CIA agent, daughter Kim and wife Lenore respectively.

The difference is that husband and wife are taken so Neeson enlists daughter for help.

He must be thinking how can the same shit happen to the same guy twice?

Neeson and Janssen get taken when they are cornered by those enlisted to help.

While imprisoned in an unknown location, Bryan manages to retrieve a gizmo stashed in his sock to call Kim.

After giving CIA advice to her, he manages to free his restraints and forces a chimney to belch steam.  She finds his location and drops a gun down the chimney which he uses to kill the guards.

There are chases and fights but those participating mostly look bored.

Like Mel Gibson and Danny Glover, Liam Neeson is clearly too old for shit.

The fight scenes in the original were far more powerful and the violence was satisfyingly brutal.  In comparison, the fisticuffs in the sequel are just limp-wristed.

Even the inevitable end fight with top dog henchman is fairly dreadful.

The ending is so tacky and clichéd, it’s embarrassing.

Kim passes her driving test and over protective father accepts her new boyfriend.

Give me strength.

The original was all about the action and it seems that the sequel is all about making money.

How the director hoped to supersede the original with this shower begs belief.

It was originally a 15 but necessary cuts were made to achieve the 12A cert.

Yeah, I really hate that certificate.

If only he owned a pair…

Morel has effectively downsized the original and basically prevented anybody from enjoying a mature experience.

We should all know the deal with a 12A by now.  As long as a person over twelve is present, anybody who’s knee high to a grasshopper can watch it.

For anybody who’s read my classification feature, you’ll know how much I loathe the idea behind a 12A certificate.

It’s one of those sequels I just had to see, but oh my, what absolute bilge.

I’m really starting to believe that action films slapped with a 12A should serve as some kind of subliminal warning as to how great they’re going to be.

Okay, I enjoyed the new Total Recall but even so…

This is a lethargic and extremely poor effort.

Compared to the original, this is shockingly disappointing.

John McClane in Die Hard with a Vengeance had a very bad day.

If Liam Neeson signs up for a third, this would be a very bad idea.