Sunday, 14 October 2012

Video game sleeve art comparison - Strike 1 Ud 21/02/13

Allow me to take you through how some video game art radically transforms from game to game, sequel to sequel, system to system or even for the same game.

The artists responsible for this chaos deserve suitable punishment.

It can all get very strange and it's one jigsaw puzzle that's short of a piece or two.

Be prepared to be caught up in the carnage.




This is the first part of the famous 'beast' transformation.

Then you become a beast.

So compared to the rest that got the point across of what the game is all about, what happened here?
This was bad enough, but then...
Our hero turns into a stiff and awkward looking, pony tailed fairy.
Another version of the ill-fated sequel sees an even more perverted transformation of our man.  He's lost the pony but none of its shit smelling foulness.  I struggle to see how he could manage to cart wheel looking stiffer than an adult actor.
This is not in any way the sharpest art you're going to see but at least there's a certain amount of fluidity to it.
Well I really don't know where to begin with this wonderful effort.  How about giving the artist a boot right the ass and not stop until he really gets the message.  Just look at this shit.

I actually don't really mind this one as it looks it has a bit of personality.  However, I have one huge problem - he seems to have forgotten his horse as that 'lance' he's gripping suggests he should be jousting rather than going up against the denizens of Lucifer. 

Terrible!
This is a prime example of a great C64 loading screen
It's clear what the artist used to base the C64 loading screen on.
Who the fuck is this guy supposed to be?  It must be Cody, but he had BROWN hair.
I guess it's just a matter of time before these Village People wannabes give in to carnal abandon.  Is that really supposed to Haggar on the right and Damnd on the left?  If it is, did this asshole artist even play the game or just rely on rumour? 
Hmmm, reasonable zombie art based on a classic cut scene from the original.
Chris is clearly looking clearly uncomfortable.  Maybe his shotgun is jammed?  
Not a very good C64 loading screen.  Pants compared to the Ghosts 'n Goblins effort.
Nice.  How Arthur should be drawn.
Back to stiff American junk with made up enemies.
Unlike Ghosts 'n Gobs, the artist took the unwise decision to recreate this shit for the loading screen.
How Capcom allowed such bilge for Street Fighter is beyond any human.  Look at Blanka, is he taking a dump in the mid air?  Poor old Chunners, I really don't think she'll fall over performing that kick considering she's stiff enough to be taken surfing.  Ryu looks as though he's subject to unwanted possession contortion.  To top off this shit sandwich, the background of a back alley doesn't even exist in the game.  Absolutely awful.
The artist must have had a contract as it seems the same asshole forced pain on Honda and Sagat.  The latter looks appropriately depressed.
Another dish of cardboard diarrhoea.
This improves things with some chars that actually look like they could move.
This isn't exactly great, mediocre at best but again, Ken and Ryu look mobile.
Holy shit, what in the name of putrescence?  It's a mess, it's chaos and it's fucking deplorable.
Believe it or not, this was released on the PC Engine CD in 1989.  A classic and obscure console in its own weird and wonderful way developed by Hudson Soft and NEC.  Yup, this was a port of Capcom's 1987 Street Fighter but was shat out as Fighting Street.  In the original, our man Ryu had red hair.  The art is atrocious at best.
Judging by the style of artwork, it looks as though it was drawn by the lunatic who designed the artwork for the previously mentioned C64 artwork for Final Fight..  The only way you can remember all these guys featuring in the arcade game is if you were on crystal meth.
A decent enough cutesy Japanese flyer for SNK's 1986 ancient action game.
Then bless my joystick buttons, what happened to Athena?  She looks like a cross between Wonder Woman and a thunder thighs Chun Li?  Maybe it is supposed to be in homage to Lynda Carter.  Suffice to say in this incarnation - Athena was supposed to have pink hair. 
Okay, this is a terrible front cover but at least this happens in the fantastic Gamecube remake of the 1996 PS1 survival horror classic.
Here we have the PAL release.  What's the matter Capcom, couldn't you even be bothered to put some kind of art on the front?  Obviously too much effort.  Pricks.
This is what we're talking about.  Fantastic artwork by Ayami Kojima and worthy of  such an incredible game.
This is simply insulting and I hate this.  I hate it more than piles, more than toothache and agony personified.
Okay, this is roughly the same art used for Tom Clancy's book.  It may be boring but at least this is fairly authentic.
I have no idea where to start on this.  What is this bullshit?  An angry bear overseeing  the Earth with some misplaced missiles.  The only link between this and the book is a submarine.
This is a game that only C64 retro heads (ahem, like I) will remember.  Nothing particularly wrong with this, but then....
Mr. Blade becomes an unofficial member of the Blue Oyster Bar.  Check out the tache.  Maybe that punk in the bin is not out for the count from a well placed punch, but more realistically is taking a nap by some serious rearguard action.  That dude on the floor was obviously a rival love junkie...
For the final instalment, the artist gave Joe his rifle back and the added insurance policy of a handgun.  He lost his patterned vest and maybe John McClane himself took inspiration from this shit.  I did cheat showing three different games, but showing Joe's perverse transformation was worth it.
This is at least nice and cartoony and that worried Sphinx adds to the pre-watershed.
A bit more full on but Jack looks as chirpy as ever.
Here's the deal breaker.  Why did anybody feel the need in turning Jack into some kind of smug idiot holding a lit boom device?
I can't really complain too much about this one as there's potential action and threat.

This dude seems so embarrassed and/or self conscious about his face, he can't even bear  it.  Still, they got his weapon right in spirit, if not in reality.
More muscle bound testosterone and oestrogen. Even crouched, our friend Gilius Thunderhead looks a bit tall. 

Now there's a colour change.  Ax-Battler had blue pants and Tyris Flare had a red trim to her amazonian modesty wearing red boots.  The worst bit is despite his misleading name, when have you ever seen Ax-Battler brandishing an axe?  Let's face it, they fucked up big style. 
That concludes my current look at lunacy.

I'm sure you'll agree that under my careful guide that there is some crazy shit going on here.

This often brown substance will keep flowing as there's much more to swallow and digest.

Unlike that mass, it will continue to taste sweeter than sugar.

When compiling this, I knew there were many more so apart from minor additions to Strider and Ghouls 'n' Ghosts, I've decided to go the extra kilometre to display and discuss many more in the future (hence the slight title change).

Stick with me like an angry leech and you'll be rewarded.

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