Wednesday, 6 March 2013

Video games Lost in Translation - Wholemeal

The translation of any video game should be a fairly simple process, providing you have an understanding of the language it's about to become.

For instance, take this yarn from White Ostrich - Battle for High Earth -

"In the year 2058, the village of Blue Jungle was devastated by the dark and visious invadeing forces of Green Elephant.  Led by the tyrannical instructien of Tusk Burger, the most ruthless dictator in High Earth, it seems all is list."

"The last remaining hope is Green Bridge, a loan warrior whose fighting skills will make enemy forces shudder and surrender.  Armed only with his grass fork and paper knife, he vows to leave a trail of destriction and rescue his fellow comrades."


White Ostrech - The Battle for High Earth - 

Begans today, yesterday and the future.

Back in the day, Engrish was synonymous with video games and while you may not believe it, I will highlight the fact that SNK were amateurs.

The use of a dictionary and thesaurus was overlooked as every conceivable error will become clear.

I can't even begin to imagine what qwerty was used and many could have been prevented.

Title and format will be brought and pushed over the precipice.

Injoy!

Bram Stoker's Dracula - NES  Draculea?  Pass me a stake.
King of Demons - SNES  This is good, a world where both humans and humans can live...  Forgive me, but this is a world that shouldn't be healed.
Catalypse - C64  The tiranny etc etc.  Ha ha!
Operation Wolf - Arcade  Who the fuck is this suit and why did Taito hire him to display the ending message?
Shinobi - Arcade  I got thrown out of a martial arts school for wanting to learn the dark and mysterious art of Ninjutu.  I wonder why?
Robocop - Arcade  No, this isn't right.  How about "Murphy has now become Robocop, part man/part machine."
Strato Fighter - Arcade  Like a perfect penalty, this couldn't be saved as it doesn't make any sense.  The Battle Far Ceased.  What was wrong with replacing 'Far' with 'Has'?  It wouldn't be perfect but an improvement...
Turrican 2 - C64  This is definitely THE WRONG SPELLING.
Blazing Star - Neo Geo  This makes so much sense.  It's embarrassing.
Blazing Star - Neo Geo  Swap 'that' around with 'is', replace '!' with a '?' and Yumekobo are in with a shout.  Oh well.
Double Dragon III - NES  Some video games ask a lot, but if you can find Bimmy in the Double Dragon universe, I'll give you more than what most can give.  BTW, if you somehow did, lay off the bottle.
Taito's dud Dino Rex features a host of funnies. 

Having a doughter may encourage people to question your sanity. 
When my nevers are stimulated in excitement, throw away the fucking key.
Nope, holy shit!
A country can never be maid, no matter how powerful you are.
Dream a dreamy dream so I can dream a dream that is anything other than this dream.
Eightman - Neo Geo  To be fair, many couldn't grasp this simple concept.
Fight Fever - Neo Geo  One step closer on the way to becoming the champion.  I know this possible.  Shit, they've got me doing it now.
Ghost Pilots - Neo Geo  Another example of the nearly text.
Jail Break - Arcade  There's something about that graffiti...  Wait a minute, I think I've solved the puzzle - use a dictionary.
Goal! Goal! Goal! - Neo Geo  It's a good job that Spain really 'won' the World Cup.
Gun Force II - Arcade  Sergent Max reporting for duty sir.  Court Martial imminent.
Kizuna Encounter - Neo Geo  Wepon does not compute.
Forward + A + B Buttons Turnaround Twist.  Holy crap, even that doesn't make sense.
Mechanized Attack - Arcade  Sorry boss, I don't think I've got the energy. 
Ninja Combat - Neo Geo  Now Eightman can breathe easier.
Ninja Kids 2 - Arcade  Everything here is a joke and a pretty sick one at that.
Operation Wolf - Arcade  Why Taito, why?
Operation Wolf III - Arcade  Here Comes Super Weapon.  Wow, I'd be even more scared if 'a' was added between comes and super. 
Different shit, same game.  
Samurai Shodown IV - Neo Geo  What a wonderful mistake from SNK.  I mean c'mon lads, how did you not notice? 
Shadow Dancer - Arcade  You know that three is a magic number, well yes it is.  Anyway, sticking 'an' after 'for' would create a magic statement.
Samurai Shodown II - Neo Geo  One letter SNK, one bastard letter...
Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles - Arcade  I like this one and it's a shame that where Shredder and Krang may have escaped to ruined it. 
World Heroes - Neo Geo  My serch for a suitable English teacher continues....
Rage of the Dragons - Neo Geo  The true about this text fills me with rage about who told Evoga they could spell.  Trusts me...

You want more?  Good because I have plenty more to wade through.

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