Saturday, 19 January 2013

How could they allow such cover art miscellany? - Take 3

Cruncher factory, more like shit factory.  I bet this alternative Pac-Man really hates eating those peculiar buildings.  That has to be the most least convincing ghost I have ever seen.  
An Officer and a Gentleman has a lot to answer for...
Back in 1993, dignity wasn't held in high regard.
Pants!
The original was a cult classic and famous for some very impressive transformation effects.  How can this be a suitable cover for a horror film as this couldn't frighten a wingless fly surrounded by a gang of horny arachnids.
Is this some kind of sick and twisted variation on Alice in Wonderland?   
Look I know my portrayal of Alex Foley was irritating but there's no need to shoot me.
This is frankly unacceptable and totally terrible.  I've seen more effort from a frustrated burger flipper. 
Oh my fucking God, the tagline deserves a hit and if I ever find the person(s) responsible for the packaging design, they'll need something more than a T-800 to protect them.
Dur dur, squeak, squeak.  It appears that this is among the worst rip-offs of Jaws ever.
Shit, I missed my ear.  Does this look infected?  No, this looks fucked.
Your tongue encourages my bad manners in telling this cover art to fuck right off.
It's awkward, corny and it's absolutely shit.  If only I was looking at a title with an 's' at the end of these two words then I'd be looking at Randall, Robin Hood and time holes. 
A lone asshole designed this piece of chunky shit.  Why is there a target on his gun hole, oh I know, they got confused with his forehead.
Due to the quality of this wonderful representation of Mr. Chan, they might as well have used a   mountain of manure.
If I was this sprite, I'd be getting really fucking angry...
Apart from the vest, I am unable to give a decent explanation for this fabulous fuck up. 
It's Lone Solider, the unofficial sequel.
This convinces everybody that no clown, no matter how friendly, is friendly.  His tongue draping like a badly folded towel just adds to the horror.
Samuel L. Jackson stated had to deal with snakes on crack in B-movie effort Snakes on a Plane.  Allow me to present, Horus on Steroids.
A perverted and demented descendant of The Krankies legs it from a psychotic mortar board wearing stereotype.  They are made for each other. 
Frantic and fucked, childish and chastised, demented and dangerous,  tortured and tormented.  Yup, that just about sums up the designer...
It doesn't matter what dimension or angle this is viewed in, it won't make things any fucking better.
To millions, this is famous for all the wrong reasons.   To this day, I still want to know what the FUCKING connection is between a bearded pensioner playing a banjo and a spaceship?  Nope, it meant nothing then and still means nothing now.  Rocky wanted to know why Mickey has been stickin' it to him and at least he gets to find out.  For once, the PAL and Japanese art was sensibly different. 
Well after Phalanx, the mood is lightened with Master System.   The time it took for the design of this is shorter than the average piss and subsequent toilet flush.
Err, yeah - a microwave oven.  The game involves platforms, not micro chips or any other type of microwaveable fodder.
As a seasoned gaming veteran, I know of much cover art and this is hilariously FUCKING SHIT.  If this doesn't encourage fury, I don't know what can.
Another superb example.  The toilet flushes another turd...
Whap!  I think there's a similar word I can think of that rhymes...  Oh, it begins with 'C'.
Cover art can be basked in gold, or basked in tumultuous turmoil.   I love rhetorical questions almost as much as I hate mainstream music.
After skying a penalty in the final of the World Cup, I always celebrate by attacking the goal net and for that brief moment, I couldn't be any fucking happier.
Capcom my old friend, recycle a failed scare tactic from Resident Evil 2 and use it for a different failure.  Incidentally, forgive my knowledge radar but this is virtually replicated on the back sleeve art of awful zombie film The Zombie Farm.  Unfortunately I can't prove it but trust me, it's true.

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