Wednesday 16 January 2013

If this isn't variety - you're admirably the greatest denier! Ud 07/04/13



The prospect of danger, excitement, drama, wonder, fascination is what makes certain situations so appealing.

There’s something for everybody so please ladies and gentlemen, indulge with a tipple and nibble.

Audible gasps sweep throughout the amphitheatre as they are about to bear witness to yet another scene stealer.

The intake of breath is soothing and the exhale is satisfying.

So without further ado, it’s time to start… reading.

The Simple Things were enjoyed by The Bluetones, Bjork is up to date with The Modern Things and Good Charlotte appreciate The Little Things in life.

Sugarcult attempted to look me up in the phonebook but little did they know I couldn’t be found as I forgot to tell them that I Changed My Name.

Super Furry Animals issue a stern warning because no matter what happens, The Door to This House Remains Open.  It’s an ingenious move as this would confuse and even frighten the most opportunistic burglar.

I hope that Yeasayer are hygienic after using the toilet as I don’t want anybody’s Germs, let alone theirs.

After listening to Ash, I felt a bit better as There Is Hope Again.

Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly were witness to Collapsing Cities and couldn’t do anything about it.

10:03 and 12:51 are songs by Doves and The Strokes respectively.

A Force of One is a 1979 Chuck Norris effort and A Murder of One is a Counting Crows track. 

British Sea Power are not making heavy weather of this, but treading Heavy Water.

In the Year and In the Year 2525 are songs by Echobelly and Zager and Evans respectively.

Broken Social Scene held up several banks and on each occasion, bottled it.  I suppose this was their Almost Crimes.

After leaving the A63, I agreed to meet up with Doves at the nearest service station while playing the M62 Song on arrival.

Beneath the Dark, Beneath the Darkness, And Soon the Darkness, Darkness Falls and The Edge of Darkness are all films that you’ll struggle to watch in daylight.

Mornings Eleven and Ocean’s Eleven is song by The Magic Numbers and classic rat pack crime caper (later remade in 2001).

It’s up to Audioslave if you are a Man or Animal.

Although it’s Just Wednesday, Insprial Carpets excite everybody.

This is Your Life and This is The Life are songs by The Killers and Two Door Cinema Club respectively.

Pull out all The Stops and play Elbow, now.

Don’t Look Now are songs by Chapterhouse, Show of Hands track and a famous 70's horror film.  Don’t Look Down are tracks from Iggy Pop, Guillemots and Threshold.

Bangkok Dangerous, Bangkok Haunted and Bangkok Adrenaline are all films.  Bangkok Knights is a 1987 System 3 game.

I sometimes like to pretend and play Detective with No Doubt.

Desperation and Desperado are both different types of films.

Many have their favourite brand of whiskey and Paul Weller likes a wee nip of Moonshine before he goes to bed.

Turin Brakes admire themselves in a Mirror and Doves are spoilt for such a vanity device as they have access to a House of Mirrors.

If you can have a meaningful conversation about Me and the Moon without mentioning The Drums, I’ll be amazed.

Break the Night with Colour and Living in Colour are tracks by Richard Ashcroft and Frightened Rabbit respectively.

I’m not really into Feeder and their dance routine as to keep up, it insists to have your Left Foot Right.

Nam and Nam 1975 are both very different types of war games.  The former is a very early type of war simulation from 1976 and the latter being a good old-fashioned 1990 SNK scrolling Cabal action game with numerous homages to Kubrick’s 1987 Full Metal Jacket.

Give me a word, follow it up with a number and what do yer’ get?  Yeah, a film title.

Including thousands of sequels with a ‘number’ after them is absolutely pointless and a waste of qwerty time.

Although some maybe the same genre, these remain standalone films that bear no rhyme, reason or connection to any other mentioned.

Hangar 18
Dante 01
Interstate 60
Planet 51
Apartment 143
Super 8
Case 39
District 13
Psych 9
Cell 211
Apollo 13
Zombie 108
Tape 407
Session 9
Episode 50
District 9
Apollo 18
Storage 24
Moon 44
Movie 43
Passenger 57
Population 436
Buffalo 66
Fahrenheit 451
United 93
Saturn 3
Psalm 21
Room 36
Ladder 49
Vehicle 19
Article 99
Outpost 11

Films such as 27 Dresses, 13 Assassins and 127 Hours are just so selfish...

Room 237 is documentary film discussing hidden meanings featured in Kurbrick's film adaptation of Stephen King's The Shining.

Tape 56 a story from fairly impressive found footage horror anthology effort V/H/S.

Beautiful Loser are songs by Suede and Catatonia.  Beautiful Losers is an Ocean Colour Scene track.

Lifehouse altered normality because they are Here Tomorrow Gone Today.

The Raconteurs decided to Call it a Day and I only listen to Simian at the End of the Day.

Bloc Party said that I could visit any time So Here we Are and The Fray dropped me off stating Here we Are.

Train and Zebrahead claimed I Am, Sparklehorse, The Beatles and Radiohead insisted I Will, Portishead accepted I Do, Wilco was undecided with I Might, Placebo frowned I Know and Barenaked Ladies reminded you that I Know.

I don’t like the Young Knives, So Sue Me.

I’m not been funny or anything but the All American Rejects have been showing me a bit too much Affection recently and Crystal Castles are becoming very Intimate.  What is wrong with these guys?

First Blood and Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade are both about as terrifying as a Cbeebies marathon with the former only rated a 15 because of a few naughty swears and minimal violence.  Despite this, it doesn’t stop Metz screaming in terror as both feature scenes heavily focusing on Rats.

Before Muse signed their record contract, they really should have hired a legal eagle to proof read the document as they later found there was no get out clause.  I know it sounds harsh to have no sympathy but before I put pen to paper, I always read The Small Print.

The Last Stand is probably an ill-advised big screen outing for action legend Arnie and it’s also the subtitle of the third X-Men movie.

Is 13 Going on 30 the female version of Big?  Hmmm…

Lou Reed became Vicious, New Order had a Vicious Streak and Blue Streak is a 1999 Martin Lawrence action comedy film.

After a Midlake concert, I and my mob decided to Head Home.

Garbage refused to be beaten and taught an old Dog New Tricks.

Don’t worry about any situation as Vivian Girls will Take It As It Comes.

I asked Taken by Trees if they would like to come round for a few beers.  The response was obvious to some and indiscreet to most as it was Your Place or Mine.

Torches is together the debut album from Foster the People and a song by Rise Against.

Insanitarium is a 1998 horror film and Sanitarium is a 1998 psychological point and click horror game.  It’s just crazy shit.

I was flummoxed when my wife seemed angry to hear that I had Seapony among my music collection.  Look woman, I thought this is What You Wanted.

Plaid left me on tenterhooks.  No that’s not right, I meant Tender Hooks.

You Don’t See Me, You Won’t See Me and They Won't See Me are songs by Keane, The Beatles and Field respectively.

The Rolling Stones will Play with Fire and Brandon Flowers is Playing with Fire.

Still not hooked on The Low Anthem?  Don’t worry; it’s only a Matter of Time.

Dragon Saber and Run Saber are both totally unrelated video games.  The former is the sequel to Dragon Spirit.

If you haven’t reached the Age of Consent, you shouldn’t be listening to New Order.

Dead and Deader and The Dead Undead are both films.  I’m with no doubt that a member of the dead could think of better titles than these.

Iggy Pop was created during Mass Production and The Cribs were a Victim of Mass Production.

I was happily enjoying a snooze but suddenly I was startled by the boom of music from Audioslave.  If I wasn’t Wide Awake already, I definitely am now.

Soundgarden speak of an Ugly Truth and The Ugly Truth is a 2009 romcom.

Temple of the Dog inspired an unwanted Hunger Strike.

On Almost Any Sunday Morning, it’s a guarantee that Counting Crows can be found somewhere.

VCR and V/H/S is a track by The XX and a 2012 found footage horror anthology film respectively. The strangely named Com Truise enjoyed VHS Sex.

3 Doors Down bought a Ticket to Heaven and The Beatles have a Ticket to Ride.

Powder Blue, Pacific Blue, Cornflower Blue, Electric Blue and Perfect Blue are tracks by Elbow, Taken by Trees, Great Lake Swimmers, The Cranberries and The Wedding Present respectively.

Gold Lion is a song by Yeah Yeah Yeahs and King Lion is a very camp boss from SNK’s Savage Reign.

Phenomenal Cat and Phenomenal World are songs by The Kinks and Aztec Camera respectively

Don’t Let Me Down and Don’t Bring Me Down are songs by The Beatles and Electric Light Orchestra respectively.

Half Timer is a song by Young Knives and TiMER is a relatively unknown, but nevertheless entertaining 2009 sci-fi romcom.  The sci-fi element ensures it’s not your typical and/or average slice of romance.

No One Knows what happened to Screaming Trees.

When I book a Holiday in Spain, I intend on visiting Counting Crows at their villa.

Ruby can be a song by Cerys Matthews, Kula Shaker and The Killers.  Rudy is a song by Supertramp.

Photobooth is a song by Friendly Fires and Phone Booth is a 2002 Colin Farrell thriller.

Caribou is a song by Pixies and also an artist.

Mercury Rev met with Tides of the Moon and The Rolling Stones adopted a Child of the Moon.

The lead singer of We Are Scientists and Foreigner intervened in a scuffle by both shouting Break it Up, while huddled among a crowd awaiting the demolition of a high-rise flat, The Vaccines grew frustrated and shouted Blow it Up and Blood Red Shoes decided to make a depressing situation more interesting with Light it Up.

Forget the so-called Lynx effect, Japandroids manufacture a Sexual Aerosol.  If that doesn’t get the girls flocking like moths to a light, I don’t know what can.

The Music placed a bet despite Inconceivable Odds.

I’m sure that The Rapture is just an Infatuation of mine.

Show Your Hand is you’re a fan of Super Furry Animals.

You can find Beck on the Side of the Road.

The Killers are Losing Touch and Athlete possesses a Superhuman Touch.

Dirty Pretty Things hear Plastic Hearts beat and Gomez visit Plastic California.

The Rapture won a prestigious music award without even getting out of First Gear.

Lost in Confusion is a Graveyard track and Lost in Translation is a 2003 Bill Murray film.

I’m still seeking Forgiveness from Girls.

I’ve heard that there’s a Weirdo or two among New Order.

On hearing Beak>, I reached not breaking point but Battery Point.

Can you listen to Lou Reed All Through the Night?  Yeah, it might be difficult.

My Girl and My Girls are tracks by Madness and Animal Collective respectively.

Damned by Dawn is a 2009 horror and Dead by Dawn is the subtitle to Evil Dead 2.

Love is the Law, Love is the End and Love is the Answer are songs by The Seahorses, Keane and Weezer respectively.

Bright Eyes can only predict Approximate Sunlight.

Could This be the Last Time? and The Last Time are tracks by Tender Trap and The Rolling Stones respectively.

The Borrowers and The Burrowers is a children’s film adapted to the big screen from Mary Norton’s novel and 2008 creature feature respectively.

Sexy Beast is a 2000 Ray Winstone crime drama and Spanish effort Sexy Killer enjoys spoofing various films in 2008.  Air are aware of a Sexy Boy.

Klaxons and I occupy The Same Space.

The Return and Return are both films released in 2006 and 2011 respectively.

It’s a Bit Late in the Day but Supergrass is going on.

Déjà vu is a sense of experiencing something that you believe has already experienced at some point in the past.  Wait a minute, I think the Yeah Yeah Yeahs have been here before.

I like Wilco a lot Less Than you Think.

Winter Road is a piece by Russian composer Georgy Sviridov, Winter Vacation is a track by Atlas Sound and Winter Camp is a 1992 Thalamus game.

I was confused when All American Rejects asked me to disguise myself as a carpet.  Although painful, it did eventually make sense as it was so people could Walk Over Me.

No Doubt are a group who encourage a terrible Ache.

Nebulus is a 80s video game and Nebula is a song by Incubus.

No matter what Cage the Elephant say, you mustn’t Sell Yourself.

I Punched a Lion in the Throat while at a safari park.  Very stupid I know as it really did piss that large cat off and I was lucky to escape with my life.  I promised Pulled Apart by Horses that I’d commit such an act of lunacy.

Nothing, Nothing Left and Nothing to Give are songs by The Script, Rise to Remain and White Lies respectively.

If you wait until After the Storm, I promise you that Mumford & Sons will be waiting.

You will be made to Rue the Days you didn’t give Young Knives a chance.

La Breeze, La Song, La Ribera, La Sagitaire, La Foile and La Calling are songs by Simian, Supergrass, Soulsavers, Our Broken Garden, The Stranglers and Crystal Fighters respectively.

If you fancy entertainment with a difference, join Good Charlotte as they are organising, hosting and leading a Broken Hearts Parade.

The Cure enjoyed A Night Like This and Kylie wandered about On a Night Like This.

True Love Way and Blue Jay Way are songs by Kings of Leon and The Beatles respectively.

Snow Patrol believe if you Talk to the Trees it makes you feel at peace.  If you’re incredibly lucky, people may see you as Dr. Dolittle of the forest but it’s more likely that it will make you look like an absolute lunatic.

Every rehearsal by The Pigeon Detectives is Done in Secret.

Rise Against arranged for Architects to design their house.

When visiting a safari park, most will never forget when they’ve heard The Lion’s Roar.  First Aid Kit possess very long memories.

Green Grass is a song by I am Arrows and Green Zone is a 2010 Matt Damon war thriller.  Green Aisles and Green River are both songs by Real Estate.

You may find yourself Daydreaming if Massive Attack are in your musical collection.

Electric Light Orchestra will ponder for an unnecessarily long time over electronic communication.  In the end, you just have to shout Send It before they will eventually act.

Rock the Shack and Rock the Casbah are songs by New Order and The Clash respectively.

I don’t want to talk man to man with Liars, but more Flood to Flood.

What happens if Lungs Quicken?  Well apart from Lanterns on the Lake, nothing.

A beautiful tiger pitied a Lion in the Coma.  Shortly before, the striped beast had a chat with Animal Collective.

That’s We’re You’re Wrong, Think That You Might be Wrong and Sometimes I Remember Wrong are songs by Arctic Monkeys, Great Lake Swimmers and Guillemots respectively.

Biffy Clyro needed a light but nobody could oblige.  He then shouted, Who’s Got a Match?  Everybody then seemed very keen.

Beneath and What Lies Beneath are both films.

Yeah Yeah Yeahs are one of the many Mysteries of the universe.

I Awake to the ambience of Soundgarden.  Well that’s my day well and truly set up.

I Am What I Am, I Know What I Am and It Is What It Is are songs by Spiritualised, Band of Skulls and Lifehouse respectively.

I have a Feeling that I’m going to like Future of Forestry.

I tapped a band I thought to be Sugarcult on the shoulder.  Realising my error, it appears that I have Made a Mistake.

Everybody’s Changing and Amber Changing are songs by Keane and Rise Against.

Easy and Easy A is a song by Real Estate and 2010 movie starring Emma Stone respectively.

It’s not a question of who The Pigeon Detectives are, it’s more a question where.  Well they can be found Through the Door.

The Flaming Lips were Tasered and Maced.  Did they have a run in with the police?

Sun King and Rain King are tracks by The Beatles and Counting Crows respectively.

Radiohead and Wire rung a Morning Bell and Echo & the Bunnymen woke to a Morning Sun.

“It is not hands that call us, it is Desire.”  That’s Pinhead sounding off in the mediocre Hellraiser sequel but surely The Gaslight Anthem weren’t part of the script?

Secrets & Lies and Secret Lives is a 1996 Mike Leigh drama and track by Electric Light Orchestra respectively.

Somebody told me something amazing about The Naked and Famous so I had no choice but to reply with No Way on the way to purchasing tickets.

Like dentists and doctors, The Script will try and put you at ease when applying treatment by saying You Won’t Feel a Thing.

I and The Raconteurs are Together at last.

Lockout and Lockdown are both films.

Primal Rage and Dragon Rage are both video games.

New Found Glory is either Hit or Miss.

She Don’t Want the World and She Had the World are songs by 3 Doors Down and Panic! At the Disco respectively.

Battlefield is an award winning FPS franchise and Battlefields is a song by Fenech-Soler.

If I’m bored or something is of a distinct lack of interest to me, I (like Elbow) are likely to be Switching Off.

The Horseman and The Horsemen are both rather different films.

You want me to pull at the Lion’s Mane?  Are you literally insane in the membrane or just fans of Iron & Wine?  Hmmm, the latter choice is the saner.

Battersea Odyssey is a track by Super Furry Animals and Etrian Odyssey is a DS dungeon franchise RPG.

While in Germany, all petrol heads and speedsters will relish their motorway system.  What is a really stupid thing to do is Walking on the Autobahn.  I don’t know how but Young Knives escaped without injury.

I know you’re just dying to go undercover and experience covert surveillance?  Do you have a choice?  Err, that’s a negative.

Undercover Cops is a 1992 Irem scrolling brawler and Undercover Martyn is a Two Door Cinema track.  Undercover Blues and Undercover Brother are both films released in 1993 and 2002 respectively.

Semisonic do have a best before date but that’s not really an issue as they were Made to Last.

Reservoir Dogs is Tarantino’s famous 1992 directorial debut, Sleeping Dogs is a very good open-world 2012 adventure game, Straw Dogs is Sam Peckinpah’s infamous 1971 movie (later remade in 2011), Law Dogs is a 1997 Same Rockwell drama, Old Dogs stars Robin Williams and John Travolta in a failed 2009 comedy, Dead Dogs is a track by Lorn and Suburban Dogs is a song by Real Estate.

Whenever you go and see The Wombats in concert, it’s impossible to know when but rest assured, Here Comes the Anxiety.  Here Comes the Dawning Day is a track by Ocean Colour Scene.

Running a relay with Menomena is pointless as they refuse to pass the Baton.

I keep hearing Garbage talking about me even though I don’t know who the hell they are.  I’m starting to believe that I Think I’m Paranoid.

If you Dig deep, you may find Incubus.

Hollow is a song by Tricky, Hollow Man is a 2000 horror movie and Hollow Horse is a song by The Icicle Works.  Another Hollow Line is a track by The Young Knives and Sleepy Hollow is a 1999 Johnny Depp movie.

Have you ever been invited to a party hosted by The Wedding Present?  Nah, me neither but I’ve heard It’s a Gas.

I’ve been constantly Walking for Two Hours now.  I really hope The Twilight Sad are worth it.

Star Solider started life in the 80s on the MSX, Burning Soldier is a fairly obscure 3DO game and Iron Solider is a first-person mech game by Eclipse which begun on the ill-fated Atari Jaguar.

Burning Force and Burning Rangers are video games released on the Mega Drive and Saturn respectively.

South Side is a song by Moby and South Town is the fictional setting of SNK franchises Art of Fighting and Fatal Fury.

Most healthy couples have intercourse, Menomena indulge in Skintercourse.

You Me at Six demands you must Bite My Tongue if I’m about to say something stupid.

Forget CPR as Supergrass offer the Kiss of Life.

Totally Enormous Extinct Dinosaurs had a car boot which consisted of many Household Goods.

Don’t worry Saint Etienne, I’ve Got Your Music.

Whilst listening to Admiral Fallow, I suffered the unpleasant sensation of a Dead Leg.

I’m sure that The Wedding Present will be part of my music collection way into my 50’s

If you’re feeling down, Travis will make you Happy.

I really do wish that Echobelly would just Go Away.

It’s okay, you Never Did.  What?  Perfume Genius, give me a break.

You Learn and You Should Learn are songs by Alanis Morissette and We Are Scientists respectively.

Looney Tunes would state “That’s all folks.”

I’ll paraphrase with “Well folks, that’s all for now.”

Like a quite brilliant night, everything must end and this is no different.

The promise of another white knuckle emotional rollercoaster offers a crumb of comfort to the inconsolable.

Will it be inside or out, aerial or subterranean?

Touching wood, I hope you’ll embrace the next like you would a loved one.

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